Beauty and the Beast

Now, I already know that this post will sound very atypical of my way of thinking...but, it is the truth.

Have you ever heard of the old wives's tale about when your carrying a girl she "steals your looks?" Let me clarify...ever since about 6 weeks pregnant, I have had HORRIBLE acne spell ups. Almost as if I time traveled back to when I was 15. The acne is not just on my face, I get them on my chest, my back, my shoulders, and my neck. This is not like me at all; I never had acne anywhere! Just the occasional zit. As if the acne wasn't enough, I am starting to get the dreaded "waddle." Not the obvious "waddle" but the "50% waddle." My hair has a bad day almost everyday, and I am growing hair in all the wrong places (at the speed of light). The pregnancy "glow" has not graced its presence yet. In addition to all the above, my back is hurting, I am out of breath, and I have absolutely no balance anymore.

David is running and working out about the same as he always does. He is looking as good as ever. His skin is glowing, his belly is shrinking, his back is healthy, he has perfect balance, and only has hair where men usually have hair. Are you catching my drift here? David is the beauty and I am the beast. I do not mean this in anyway but hilariously, ridiculously comical. I would not trade being pregnant for any of the above because I am totally in love with the idea...but, granted, it would be nice to be the beauty again. If baby girl is "stealing my beauty," then I am expecting the most perfect, most beautiful, most graceful, most talented, and most amazing little girl.

'Tis the season

'Tis the season of stress, work overload, and final exams. I don't look forward to this time of year, but having the holidays around make the extra stress somewhat worth it. This weekend is Halloween, soon after is Thanksgiving, and then less than a month later is Christmas and a baby shower. Mixed in the next 2 months I have 2 tests, 2 final exams, 1 presentation, 1 paper, and 4 weeks of classwork. But, the exciting part is: I don't have to return to campus after Christmas break...instead, I can sleep in as much as I want. Now, that is some news worth sharing! Then, in just 4 months, I will be holding a beautiful baby girl! I have a feeling that these 4 months are going to go by extremely fast, I might need to invest in a "life seatbelt."

As soon as final exams are over in early December, I can just relax and work on continuing to grow this baby. Until then, I must work overtime. I am holding on tightly, because life is starting to fly by.

Just a little update

I had my monthly OB checkup this morning...at 8am...ugh. I was very tired, so I may not remember everything that happened. It was the first time the doctor actually had a belly to measure. I am unsure of the measurement, but he said "everything looks good." I am guessing it was right on target. He then tried to listen to the heartbeat and as soon as he put the cold doppler to my belly, she turned/moved and he had to find it again. I wouldn't want something cold pressing on me either that early in the morning. However, I have noticed a slight trend in her kicking patterns. She seems to be really active when first waking up. This trait is nothing like her mother...I am grouchy and don't want to be talked to or looked at until atleast I have had time for breakfast to digest. Yes, it takes that long. However, her daddy is much different...he can spring out of bed and be cheerful and awake in about 2 seconds. So, I do believe baby girl is taking on daddy's morning cheerfulness. Then again, she is very active right before bed, which makes me think just the opposite. Daddy can lay down and be knocked out in 2 seconds, while it takes me about 20 minutes to fall asleep after I have tossed and turned about 500 times. She has a little bit of both in her I suppose.

David and I have nicknamed her "kickin wing" like chicken wing because the first time I really felt her strong enough to startle me was after I had eaten chicken wings. As for her real name, we have officially decided on a name, but are trying to keep it a secret. I figured since everyone knows the gender, why not have a little fun and keep the name to mommy and daddy until her birthday. Plus, I don't get any "ahh, but I like this other name better" or blank stares. I believe her name was just meant to be...it's like she had that name from the moment she was conceived. It's her. I love it. Fits her personality so well already. Wait, I lied...my mom knows her first name...so NO ONE better go bug her. I don't think she knows the middle name, atleast not officially. I don't know for sure if I will be able to keep her name a secret...we'll see how long it lasts (anyone who knows me knows I have NO patience).

That is all the update I have on baby girl for now...22 weeks down, 18 weeks to go! Wow.

Monday Madness

It's Monday and the day started out way too early with me dropping my deodorant on a little toe. It is 4 hours later and the toe is still numb and purple. I thought my day would get better, but then I was almost killed by a bus on the way back to my car this morning. The bus tried to run me over as I was crossing the crossing walk. Trust me, I emailed transportation right away...I was so mad. Stupid bus drivers...they drive like they own the road. Not to mention i am clearly PREGNANT, so that would of been 2 lives in danger. I hope they fire her because she does not need a license.

Maybe this afternoon will be a little better. I think a nap will do the trick. However, tomorrow will be a VERY early day as I have my OB appointment at 8:00. Which means I will be leaving the house at 7:30 and waking up around 7:00. YUCK. I haven't woke up before 8 in atleast 6 months...so, I know it is going to be hard.

To make light of this disaster of a day so far, I get to make cupcakes for David's office (plus they are orange with halloween sprinkles).

"Bedtime, already?!"

I am just now 21 weeks, and it feels like I could sleep for 3 weeks straight. I don't know why on earth I am so tired all the time. I kept waiting for my 2nd trimester energy boost, but I must have spent all my energy savings out during the 1st trimester. Even though I was sick and vomiting, I still had plenty of energy. Now, I can't stay awake past 7:30 pm.

I went to a consignment sale today near downtown and was in the building for about 30 minutes total. After looking through only one rack of clothes, my arm felt like it was going to fall off, my legs were cramping up, and I could barely keep my eyes open. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got back in the car and took a little cat nap on the way back home. After we got home, I fell asleep on the made up bed for about an hour. I swear my energy has just disappeared. A few weeks ago, I could shop all day without complaints. Maybe my little girl is growing at an alarming rate and is stealing all my energy reserves. That is what I am hoping anyways. If I am this tired at 21 weeks, I can only imagine how tired I will be in the 3rd trimester...blah. Good thing I only have online classes because there is no way I could make it to class every morning.

Well, its 8 pm on a Saturday night and I am headed to bed to watch a movie...told you.

Not looking forward to it...

The other day I had the most bizzare dream. David's brother drove me to the dentist because I was mad at David. I was late for my appointment and they were angry with me because I didn't want x-rays. That was basically the entire dream. Ever since then, I have the dentist on my mind. Kind of like the dream was telling me something. I kept catching myself thinking about the dentist or brushing my teeth. So, in order to get this daydream out of my head, I made an appointment for a cleaning today. Apparently my unconcious is trying to tell me something. UGH...I am not looking forward to it at all!

I didn't have great experiences with dentists, or doctors in general, when I was a child. I avoided the doctors office or hospital with all my might. I hated shots and I hated needles (still do). Which is why I cringe everytime I go to the OB knowing I'll have to get my blood drawn. But, I overcame that fear once I realized it was all for the baby. So, back to my story...I hated doctors as a child. I kid you not, I never lost one tooth on my own. I never experienced the door pulling or the site of blood after crunching into a candy apple. None of it. I had every single one of my teeth pulled in the dentist's chair. Not at one time, though. The dentist told me my teeth were so strong because I drank too much milk. The funny thing is, I hate milk now. My mouth was so screwed up as a child that I went through 10 years of pulling and prying before I got a half decent smile and a large enough mouth. Yes, I even had a metal pole in the roof of my mouth that I turned with a key everyday to spread my jaw out. It wasn't fun at all...and I PRAY that my babies don't have mouths like me or my family. We have tiny mouths that don't fit all our teeth.

After years of braces and metal, I finally had a semi-normal mouth. But, I still hate going to the dentist. They always tell me what a horrible job I do at brushing and flossing. And since I became pregnant, brushing isn't really on my list of things to do anymore. At the beginning, I gagged and vomited everytime I got a toothbrush even near my mouth. I never even attempted to floss. 21 weeks later, I still gag when brushing...so, I know the dentist is not going to be happy with me.

BLAH. It's just one of those things you gotta do.

Pregnancy Bloopers

As I am nearing 21 weeks pregnant, I have caught myself in some hilarious pregnancy moments that I like to call "pregnancy bloopers." Enjoy and feel free to laugh AT me.

The other day, I was doing laundry and had a load already dried in the dryer and a load that had finished washing in the washing machine. I put the dry, clean clothes into the basket and began to put the washed clothes into the dryer. Well, I went to grab some dirty clothes from the bedroom to add to the washing machine, and discovered I was missing the clean load I had gotten out of the dryer. Are you following me? It seems that I had washed the clean clothes again after I got them out of the dryer, thinking they were dirty in the basket. All this was done in a matter of 3 minutes...how in the world did I manage to do this?

I remember a few weeks ago that I needed to run some errands, so I started out toward target with my list of things to get (most of them very important). As I was driving down the road, a sudden craving hit for Chick-fil-a, and in my preggo mind, that was the reason I was going out. I ended up in the Chick-fil-a drivethru forgetting why exactly I went out in the first place. 15 minutes later I was back home trying to remember where I needed to go (with my list still in my purse).


I have caught myself several times talking to myself out in public, or talking to the baby. I was in the grocery store and had one of these pregnancy moments. I was trying to decide which can of pizza sauce to get unknowingly with one of the stockers behind me waiting for me to move out of the away so he could stock the shelf. I went back and forth, sometimes talking to myself and sometimes asking the baby which one she would prefer. I can only imagine what his face was like when he heard me talking. Embarrassing!

Everyone knows a pregnant women can have gas anytime, anywhere, and without much warning. Let's just say this moment was VERY embarassing and continues to haunt me. I was taking the dogs out one afternoon, and of course, let one out. I didn't think it would be loud besides, no one was outside. But, boy, was I wrong. The neighbor was walking behind me at the time...

A little nesting humor...About once a week, I take all the clothes hanging in baby's closet and folded on the shelf wash them and hang them all up again. Why? Don't ask!

Now that you have had your daily dose of humor, I will end with saying that pregnancy can be extremely humerous, obviously. Stay tuned for more pregnancy bloopers!

Wordless Wednesday

The Blueberry Girl

I just recently discovered the best way to describe how I have been feeling this past week...like the girl on Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory who turns into a big, blue blueberry and rolls away (except leave out the turning blue part). Every time I take a bite of food, I feel like it has nowhere to go. And every day, I feel my belly getting larger and larger...just as if I was turning into a blueberry and getting ready to roll away. This is actually quite comical if you think about it...except, it is a little uncomfortable for me. Is it normal to be feeling this way at 20 weeks? I honestly feel like my stomach is expanding as much in a day as it has in the past 19 weeks. To tell you the truth, I was starting to wonder when this day would actually come...the day where I just feel so plump and round. It's here!

In addition to my expanding blueberry stomach, I am starting to get a little out of breath when walking long distances or up hill. It feels like every organ in my body has been knocked out of place and is desperately screaming "HELP!" Welcome to being preggo, Amber. It only gets larger from here, and by the 8th month, I am sure I might just roll away.

State Fair Re-cap

Oh wow...it was a great day to go to the state fair along with everyone else in the state. The crowd was minimal at the beginning, but then later in the day, it got really CROWDED. I don't mean "busy," I mean flat out "you can't move your finger without hitting someone else." There was so many people today it was almost hard to breathe.

David and I made our usual rounds to the livestock buildings and then to the ag building with all the free samples. Well, what I thought was the building with all the free samples. I was disappointed at the lack of vendors this year. Either we missed something, or there wasn't as many as there usually are.

Did I mention I had to use the bathroom every 10 minutes? And did I also mention there was a 15 minute wait at each restroom...yeah. I would have had a much more enjoyable time if I wasn't preggo and needed to pee every second. I also needed to take many breaks because my bump is getting rather large. It puts me out of breath to walk that much.

No, I did not try the krispy kreme hamburger or the deep friend pumpkin pie. However, I did have amazing BBQ at the Pork Chop Shop. Oh, and of course free hush puppies at the mill! And, I didn't leave the fair gates without my candy apple in hand. I felt rather guilty about that candy apple, but all guilt seemed to fade away while I was consuming it. Baby didn't seem to mind.

I think today's fair escapade was a success; other than the fact it took 45 minutes to park and me having to pee so much. I must say I am very excited to bring our little girl to next year's fair...and maybe next year we won't decide to go on the seemingly busiest day in state fair history.

I love these kind of nights...

These are the nights that make me so glad that summer is over and the heat and humidity is gone. I can finally have the windows open and the candles lit. Plus, the animals love the windows open because it makes them feel like they are outside. Bella could sit at the window all day if I would let her. I have noticed a trend since I have been living on my own. I hate lights, especially ones that are not natural. So, whenever I have the chance, I have all my candles lit and all the electric lights off. I feel much more comfortable in dim light or just light shining in from the windows. I always yell at David when he leaves lights on because they just irritate me. I think my baby girl is the same way, because she is very calm when she is warm and the all the lights are down. What baby wouldn't like it?

As I sit here with my fall candles and the last bit of daylight shining through, it really makes me happy that fall is just around the corner. Well, fall weather that is. North Carolina can't seem to understand that the temperature is supposed to fall about this time of year. However, I have seen that tomorrow's temperature will be high of 70. Which will be perfect weather for a state fair day with my hubby. I really can't wait for those cold winter nights where the anticipation of snow has you waiting up all night so you can catch that first snowflake. I love, love, love those nights. However, we will be refraining from building a fire this winter because last winter my allergies were HORRIBLE due to all the fires we were making. I was absolutely miserable. It may be best for my sake and baby's that we not build any fires. :( So sad because there is nothing more romantic than a fire, hot chocolate, and a blanket on the couch with the hubs.

So long hot weather!! I may start to miss you when it gets miserably cold, but that just means that March is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER :)

Ah yes...it's that time again.

The state fair comes to town this weekend, and I have to admit I am not really excited about it like I should be. Any other year, I would be ecstatic for the fair and not be able to wait to experience it once again. For the most part, I am dreading the marathon walking I will have to do from our car to the front gate and then the 2nd marathon walking around the fair. My growing belly is making it hard to walk long distances; not to mention how tired I already am throughout the day. But, I will try and enjoy the fair and all it has to offer for at least one more year. However, next year, our baby girl will be just about the right age to fully enjoy all the sights, sounds, and smells and I will enjoy it more then too. I can just imagine now wheeling our baby girl around in her new stroller to visit all the animals and baby rides. That will be so much fun. Fairs and amusement parks are way more exciting when you have a baby or a little kid who is enjoying it more than you.

I have heard from various news channels about the "newest" additions to the fair menu. Some include a hamburger sandwiched between two donuts, kool-aid pickles, deep fried chips ahoy, deep fried pumpkin pie, and a 1 pound hot dog. I think the best sounding addition might be the deep fried pumpkin pie, but I am not anticipating the clogged arteries and sugar slump I may experience later in the day. How about that hamburger in between two donuts? That sounds absolutely disgusting. I asked David if he would actually try it, and he said "NO WAY!"

I am most looking forward to seeing all the animals and visiting all the booths. I love getting all the free food tastings and gifts from various vendors. I must say I will miss the wine tasting this year. I love tasting all the christmas wines and various new flavors. But, baby on board means no wine tasting until next year (even though i would rather be pregnant that go to a wine tasting ;) ). I hope everyone has a great NC State fair experience this year, and I look forward to the state fair next year with my baby girl!

The Learning Curve

Next week, I will be halfway through this pregnancy. When I sit back and actually think about this, I get really nervous and scared. Is it normal to be really nervous and scared about fulfilling a lifelong dream? I suppose. But, I am more nervous than I have ever been. Usually, I use the "mind over body" technique when it comes to something really nerve-racking...but, I don't think that technique will work in this situation. I can tell myself over and over that I will be a good mom, I will know what to do, and it will be OK if I make mistakes; but, I am beginning to realize this may not be enough. You can't ever practice being a mom until you are physically, emotionally, financially, and mentally a mom. And when that moment finally comes, you are thrust into that position so quickly that you become so scared and nervous about doing the right thing. Becoming a mom is like becoming any other profession (in my mind) and all of these such professions require a learning curve. At first, there will be mistakes, but that is the process of a learning curve. In time, you will become so good at what you're doing that mistakes won't even happen. I feel like I am preaching to myself here because the first half of this blog is being doubting myself, and the second half is me telling myself that I will make mistakes and it will be OK. Maybe this "becoming a mom" process is all about a continuous cycle of doubt and reassurance. You can not tell me that there wasn't a single mom in this world who automatically fulfilled this role in the first moments of her child's life; that she never made one mistake and she never doubted herself. Even the women who "were born to be mothers" make mistakes, right?

I guess we can rationalize the "mom learning curve" by comparing it to that of a doctor. As scary as it may seem, all doctors practice on a learning curve. Not a single one graduated with their degree, walked into the operating room the next day, and never made one mistake. They all made mistakes. After years of practice, the mistakes became less and less apparent. I know when my child is older and number 2 comes along, the fear and anxiety of messing up will almost seem silly. I know it seems like I am taking this "profession" way out of hand, but all moms want to be perfect and I am no different.

I have already learned so much just in these first few months of being pregnant, and I am a very fast learner. It only takes me one time to realize what I did and to make sure it happens the same way the next time (thanks to my anal-ness). When David and I went to the pre-baby class at our potential pediatricians office last week, we were handed a book of information dealing with baby's first moments of life and with the next couple of months of life. I sat there reading every single page like I was reading a treasure map. All these questions I had were suddenly answered. It's like I had opened the book of motherhood and all the doubts I had coming into the class were reassured. Will all aspects of motherhood be this simple? Only time will tell. But, I know that there isn't a book to read for everything...that book I will write.

Oh Baby

We have a stroller system! I feel like it is becoming more and more real now. My grandmother said she would get one big thing, so I told her we really liked this stroller system with a car seat at Babies R Us. I saw today that it had been purchased off our registry. I am oh so excited. I can't believe that in just a few short months that our baby girl will be sitting in that car seat. I mean, if you think about it, that is basically like their new home. They are always in the car seat, especially if you like showing your baby off a lot. They will spend just as much time in the car seat as they do in their beds. I am so ready to go home this weekend so I can marvel over it!

My goal between now and Christmas is to get the nursery fully decorated. This includes purchasing everything on my lists of "must haves." I have been looking at nurseries online and getting great ideas.

Happy Fall Break to me :)

Nesting

"Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world. Nesting brings about some unique and seemingly irrational behaviors in pregnant women and all of them experience it differently. Women have reported throwing away perfectly good sheets and towels because they felt the strong need to have "brand new, clean" sheets and towels in their home. They have also reported doing things like taking apart the knobs on kitchen cupboards, just so they could disinfect the screws attached to the knobs. Women have discussed taking on cleaning their entire house, armed with a toothbrush. There seems to be no end to the lengths a nesting mother will go to prepare for her upcoming arrival. This unusual burst of energy is responsible for women ironing anything in the house that couldn't out run them. Being preoccupied with ant killing, squishing them one at a time for weeks on end. Packing and unpacking the labor bag 50 times. Cleaning the kitchen cupboards and organizing everything by size to the point that you make sure the silverware patterns match when it's stacked in the cutlery drawer. Sorting the baby's clothes over and over again is a favorite theme. Taking them out of the drawers and re-folding them, putting them away and doing it over and over again. Nesting will provide interesting stories for years to come."

Everything highlighted in purple describes me in the past 2 weeks. I call this phenomenon...NESTING. Some people say nesting starts in the last month of pregnancy just before labor, others say nesting can start soon after a positive pregnancy test. The most common theory puts the nesting behavior right around the 5th month of pregnancy. Yep, that's me. I do believe I have begun this crazy, unusual, pattern of behaviors. The entire post above describes me to a "T." Some crazy things I have done:

-Taken all the baby clothes off hangers, washed them, and re-hung them--repeatedly.
-Vaccummed every room in the house, sometimes multiple times a day.
-Inspecting the newly painted walls daily for new marks or scratches to be painted over again.
-Wiped down counters and surfaces multiple times a day
-Cleaned out baby's closet atleast twice, which includes removing large items for no reason

Some of these things actually don't seem that crazy, but if you followd me around all day and watched the consistancy at which I do these things, it would be rather amuzing. I am scared to think what I will do closer to labor. It just seems that the word "cleaning" is becoming more popular around here. It is amazing what hormones will do to a woman's body. These behaviors are simply something "I must do." No questions about it. Do you have a funny "nesting" story?

It has been awhile

I feel like I haven't updated my blog in awhile...well, awhile to you may be different than awhile to me. A lot has changed in the past few days. We painted the nursery pink, we bought a nursery chair, and we cleaned the nursery carpet. You know what that means? We have no more office. Yes, that's right...our computer desk and all the junk that went with is stuck in our living room. I don't like it at all. I am so keen on everything being in its place, and now I feel like my home is chaos. The only thing under control is the nursery, believe it or not. We set the bed back up just in case we have visitors in the next few months, but other than that, it is empty. BUT, not for long...we are picking up our changing table and crib in just a few hours. I am so excited to see what it looks like. When I see this crib go up, it is going to hit me that in just a few months I will be carrying around a screaming, crying bundle of joy.

Speaking of bundle of joy, my little girl has been moving a lot lately. I can feel her almost anytime of day now. She gets especially aggrevated when she/I is/am hungry. I am not sure if she really is hungry, or she just feeds off of my hunger. I love feeling her kick, it makes me worry less than something is wrong. Tonight, David and I have a meeting with a potential pediatrician. We'll see how this goes...however, I have no clue what I am looking for. I guess if the atmosphere is right and I feel a good vibe, we'll go with them. The office is close to the hospital and my doctor, so it definetly is in an ideal location.

Until next time...:)