'Tis a New Year

Even though I am very upset about the situation I have been in for the past few weeks, I am trying not to let it ruin my New Year. But, on the 2nd day of this new year, there will be a baby shower without me in attendance. Boy is it hard not to let that ruin all the good things that are coming my way. As I wrote yesterday, I must not let the things I CAN'T control stress or frustrate me. So, this is my number 1 goal/resolution for 2011. Just to make it official:

1. I will not let things I can't control stress or frustrate me, and regain control of the things I can.

Mark my word. I said it. I will try my hardest to make sure this resolution is fullfilled until December 31, 2011. Hopefully, by then, I won't need to make resolutions about frustration or stress.

My second resolution is all about my daughter. She is number 1 and top priority from this point on. I know it won't be hard to give up my freedom for her sake because she is already the light of my life, but I am sure it will bring on some challenges in the New Year. I am speaking of less sleep, less time to myself, less time with my husband, and less time doing things I want to do.

2. Make my daughter top priority and show her unconditional love for the rest of her life.

Now, what would a new year be without mentioning something about my husband, my soulmate, and my best friend. This past year (or atleast half of it) was mostly about the pregnancy and getting used to the idea of having a newborn in our lives. We didn't get to spend as much time as we would have liked just talking about the two of us. However, we did manage to sneak in a few date nights toward the end of this year. Probably because we realized those nights were slowly dwindling down to being nonexistent.

3. Have a date night with my husband atleast once a month if not more. Even if that means curling up on the couch to watch a movie together...alone. *This may require a babysitter...any takers?

I think having 3 resolutions is good enough. Having anymore would get confusing and difficult. I really need to concentrate on number 1, because that is the thing most affecting my life right now.

Happy New Year!

I have so many thoughts today, I just can't seem to get any down on paper (or virtual paper for that matter).


"Frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. "

Frustration is an awful emotion to have to experience. We first felt this emotion possibly as an infant when we were screaming our heads off because mommy and daddy had no clue that we were hungry, wet, or sleepy. We felt this emotion when we were a toddler and mommy said the word "share." We didn't understand why we had to share our favorite toy. As an adult, I don't think I fully understand the emotion of frustration. I use the word when describing feelings or a situation I have absolutely no control over. It's just so frustrating.

"Stress is a feeling that is created when we react to certain events. It's the bodies way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation."

I have to disagree with that. Stress is something I feel after rising to a tough situation and not being fully prepared to meet it. I often feel stressed when I have fully prepared myself to face a challenge head on, and then end up being slammed back into the ground. The slammers are often people or their personalities that have a way of getting through my thin skin. Of all the lessons I have yet to learn, I still don't know why I can't seem to learn about tough skin. Maybe their is some kind of balm or magical lotion I can put on to ensure people and their words don't get through to me. I usually end up taking things way to personally, and, in the end, I am the only one left stressing.

Writing my thoughts on (virtual) paper seems to be the only way I can somewhat control these emotions and feelings that frustrate and stress me. However, I am positive that you, my reader, could careless about any of it at the moment. So, here goes my 3 attempts to deal...

1. Vent to someone I trust. Well, I am currently sitting alone with 2 dogs and a cat and I have already vented to a few people I trust. They seem to have the "so what" attitude, that I can't seem to master. Possibly this is a lesson to be learned. I'll work on it.

2. Regain control. The only way I can simply regain control is to change my situation, which is not physically possible. So, I must accept the situation as it is and block all negativity. I need to focus on what I CAN control and not what I CAN'T control. I'll work on this too.

3. Figure out my options. Well, currently, I only have one option. So, back to number 2...I need to focus on this one option that I CAN control. The parts I CAN'T control are the people and their personalities that seem to get through me. Back to step 1...I need to adopt the "so what" attitude and not let it bother me. Eh...like I said, I'll work on it.

My Miracle Year

Wow, 2010 is almost over. Can you believe it? I would have to say that 2010 was a life changing year. It started out like a usual year, and then in February I found out I may have had insulin resistance which was causing infertility. Not that David and I were expecting children anytime soon, but we needed to get my side of the deal working properly before we began trying. I figured that now was the time to get my unexplained fertility issues under control. I was determined. I researched everything I could about insulin resistance and infertility and discovered a lot about my body. That same month, I started eating healthier, cutting all sugar (bye bye Snickers Bar), and drinking 2-3 liters of water a day. We hit the gym 3-4 times a week and I started running a mile a day. If you knew me at all, you would never guess that running was even a word in my vocabulary. I hated it. I also started to take a multi-vitamin religiously as well as fish oil. One day I had come across a blog posting about a woman who never had a period unless she took fish oil once a day the entire month. She never knew why, maybe that her body just needed those nutrients before it could work properly. A light bulb went off. Little did I know, that light bulb and a few others is the reason I am where I am today.

April went by and May came just as quickly. David and I had planned a beach trip over our anniversary weekend (May 30th) for a little pre-summer getaway. We had planned on leaving that Thursday and staying until early the next week. We were so excited to get out of town. David had to work that Thursday, so I started packing that morning and getting the house clean. I started noticing these weird feelings in my stomach. Feelings that felt familiar, but I just couldn't wrap my head around it. A few hours later, I went to take a shower, and would you believe it...I had started a cycle. After 5 years, YES 5 YEARS, I had finally had a natural period on my own. This was the most exciting day of my entire life (well, one of them). I called David screaming "it worked, it worked!!!" All the hard work I had been doing had finally payed off. That beach weekend was amazing and I was in heaven knowing that I was finally on my way to being healthy. Even though I could only have a tiny bite of our anniversary cake, I was relieved to know that my body was working and kids were just a blink away.

June came and went and exactly a month later, June 27th, I found out I was pregnant. The most exciting, nerve-wracking, glorious day of my entire life. I had never felt so many emotions rolled into one in one day. I couldn't believe those 2 pink lines that were barely there!! I almost thought I was dreaming and my eyes were just "wanting" to see lines that they miraculously appeared. My hardwork had most definetly payed off. Over July 4th weekend was when we announced the big news. A little early, but I was not about to wait. I couldn't stand not telling my family and showing how excited I was. I still remember the text to my dad...

Amber: Dad, I might have something to tell you.
Dad: Papa?
Amber: Maybe.

Weeks of torment, doctor visits, and restless days/nights later, I am finally 31 weeks pregnant and the proudest mommy-to-be in the whole world. Never ever did I imagine I would be pregnant in 2010. That about sums up my year. I wouldn't have changed anything about this year. I guess I can call this "my miracle year."

Now, for 2011...I have only 3 goals.
1. Loose all this pregnancy weight and start my running routine again.
2. Be the happiest and proudest mommy the world knows.
3. Continue to relax and stay healthy so that number 2 isn't such a struggle.

Ok...and one more...Love this child unconditionally for the rest of her life.

Catching Up

I feel like I have neglected my blog. Between the holidays, traveling, and spending 2 long days in the hospital, I haven't had much time to sit down and write. Let's start with Christmas, shall we?

We went home last Thursday (Christmas eve, eve) and the ride was uneventful. There was hardly any traffic. The weather was perfect and excitement was in the air. I had an amazing lunch and talk with Alyssa on Christmas eve. It was so good to have girl talk and not just a one on one conversation with my belly or my husband glued to football on TV. She got me this adorable Christmas tree ornament that says "Mommy to be" and "2010" on it. Did I mention it matches my tree PERFECTLY? I decided after receiving this that I was going to start Macy an ornament collection, and she just received her first one! Yay for starting new traditions! Christmas morning was about the same as any other, minus my dad's amazing breakfast...but he did manage to cook it the next morning. It started snowing around 9:00 am, and we were to be at my grandparents around lunch. My sister and I decided to leave early in case the snow got to bad to drive. We didn't want to miss Christmas with the family. We left the house around 10:15 and by the time we got to my grandparents around 10:30, there was already atleast an inch or two accumulated. It was so pretty! The first white Christmas of my lifetime! It was very special to share it with my growing little one too. However, she didn't get to see how beautiful it was. We got pictures to show her when she is older. By that night, we had about 5-6 inches and the roads were HORRIBLE. David and I had a very scary trip back to the house, passing cars in ditches and seeing people slide on every turn. We made it home just in time to pass by a jeep stranded in a ditch outside the house. That was our "entertainment" for the next 2 hours. We watched trucks try and help him get out. Finally, he made it out with 2 mailboxes hooked on to the front. I'm sure the owners weren't too happy to find their mailboxes gone the next morning.

We were going to leave Sunday, but Raleigh was pounded by snow, so we stayed until Monday morning. The drive back was a little tricky closer to Raleigh, but we came back in one peice! I made it home with a new baby swing, baby monitor, baby clothes, a memory book from Aunt Lena, and cute little blankets. And David had the swing and monitor up and working right away! It's very cute and I can't wait to see my baby girl swinging away.

The holiday vacation was historical and wonderful at the same time! I can't wait until next year when my little one isn't so little anymore. She'll be almost walking and dragging the ornaments off the tree. Santa Clause will actually have a reason to stop by. Next on the list...BABY!

Since I was about 12 weeks pregnant (after my projectile vomiting episode), I have been seeing repetitive numbers everywhere: in my bank account, on licence plates, on the cash register, and especially on clocks. One time, David and I had the same amount of money in our checking accounts, and it was repetitive! I would see 1:11, 2:22, or 3:33 almost everyday! I didn't think much of it until recently I came across a blog that looked into this odd phenomenon. For the past 2 or 3 months, the 222 sequence has been most popular with me. I will ALWAYS see the clock at exactly 2:22. Coincidence? I thought so, until today.

I have had some pretty scary news the past week or two with my blood pressure and possible preeclampsia. I went in to my follow up OB appointment for another blood pressure check and stress test for the baby. My blood pressure was ok and the stress test on the baby was perfect. She did everything she was supposed to do. I was cleared to travel for Christmas, but I am still under watch for abnormal signs of preeclampsia. As I was walking out of the doctor's office, I glanced at my phone to text David and what do you know...it was 2:22 pm. I thought, NO WAY! There is no possible way I could have just seen that number by coincidence since it had been happening to me so much lately. I googled a possible meaning for 222, and it turns out that seeing repetitive numbers or even specifically 222 means that God is guiding you in the right path and is saying to you that everything is going to be ok and he is going to make everything work out perfectly. Wow.

I don't believe in these so called "signs," but I am starting to wonder. Maybe being pregnant has a mother more intuned into the world and her surroundings, or maybe a little bit of both.

What I Won't Miss

I feel so much better than I have been in the past few days. I am still getting headaches if I walk around too much, which is my clue to sit down. Tomorrow is my final OB checkup before CHRISTMAS! They will let me know whether I can officially travel home and what other restrictions I may have. Even if they say I am good to go, I know for a fact I won't be going as hard as I used too. My body lets me know when I need to take it slow. But, I doubt the news will be that great.

I honestly can't believe I am 10 weeks (at the most) away from seeing my baby girl. I bet I will be so glad to have this third trimester over with...it has already taken its toll on me. For all of you who don't think being pregnant is a big deal, well it is. Your body is working over time all the time to keep up with two fast growing bodies and your hormones have gone crazy. Still don't believe me? Keep reading...

10 Things I won't miss after delivery:
1. Stretch Marks. Enough said there. They have taken over my belly, and I just hope they go away.

2. Having your blood drawn. I have had my blood drawn so many times, there is a permanent bruise on my right arm. Especially when I was in triage 2 times this week, I had my blood drawn a total of 5 times in 4 days. It isn't fun at all. A funny story: I was sitting at the doctor's last week waiting and this girl came in for her first OB blood work up after she got a positive pregnancy test. She almost passed out after the draw. You could tell she hated every minute of it. I felt so bad for her, but I wanted to say "get used to it, girl, because you'll be doing this a whole lot more. Welcome to pregnancy."

3. Constipation. Yep. It plagues the best of us. I only had it for a few weeks, but it definitely doesn't feel good when things are finally ready to leave.

4. Hemorrhoids. Along with the constipation, these little buggers are one of the worst things that come with pregnancy. Its like an itch you can't scratch. If you are unfamiliar with them, just wait until you see 2 pink lines. They hurt, they bleed, and they are so annoying!

5. Bedrest. Since I have had blood pressure issues, I have been on bedrest already for about a week. In just a week's time, I have come to hate bedrest and PRAY I won't be on it any longer. It seems like a great idea until you actually are forced to keep your feet up. Try it during the holidays. Everyone else out shopping when your at home...sitting...bored...sitting.

6. Projectile vomiting without warning. Thank goodness mine only lasted 4 weeks total...However, the nausea lasted for about 12 weeks. Both of these are no fun and are another one of the worst things about being pregnant.

7. Backaches. O-M-G. Even a nice warm bubble bath doesn't take the pain away.

8. Being kicked in the bladder, all night, every night, every day, all day. I was able to experience this for a few weeks until my baby girl turned head down. Now, I just have her head laying on it constantly.

9. Not being able to shave or see your feet. Yea, it just isn't possible anymore.

10. Balance issues. I trip, I fall, I sway, I loose control. My balance is HORRIBLE now. I can't even put on shoes without almost falling over.


Until tomorrow...

Stuck in a hard place...

I am trying to decide whether to say...
1. "AHHHH, this is the life!"
or
2. "I want to be normal again, go shopping, walk around, go out, get out of this house!"

1. Ahhh, this is the life. I am currently sitting on the couch (with my feet up) watching David scurry around while cleaning the house. I have orders to sit and relax. I don't have to clean, cook, or do laundry. I can wear pajamas all day and never get dressed!

2. I just want to be normal again. It is the last weekend before Christmas, and everyone else and their family is out shopping and absorbing all the Christmas spirit in the air. I am stuck in this house with 2 dogs and a cat who keep terrorizing my Christmas tree. I can't walk or shop or do anything I desperatly want to do right now. I want a few more weekends alone, on a date, with my hubby. I want to buy Christmas presents in the store rather than online and shipped to my house. I want to ride around and look at Christmas lights. I want to put on a cute little maternity dress and go out to the mall and show off my belly. Rather, I am stuck in the bed in pajamas.

My dilemma is an obvious one. I am stuck between enjoying this bedrest and hating it. Part 1. of me is thinking this is heaven and part 2. of me thinks this is like hell. Then, I look down at my huge belly and remember who is inside of me. My little girl, my daughter, is inside of me and she is number 1 as of this moment on. The day she was conceived was the day that my life was no longer top priority. However, I didn't need to put my life in the back seat until now. It is all becoming reality that raising a child is no easy task. Sure, I was like a lot of mommies who thought being pregnant would be a piece of cake. Boy, were we ALL wrong.

It seems as if the minute that I stepped into the 3rd trimester, my body went all to hell. I pray this isn't a sign of more to come. David's horoscope was very ironic yesterday. It said something on the lines of: today was like a beam into the future, it showed you how your life is becoming. I thought, wow, being in the hospital with just one little girl and her health and wellbeing on our minds is what our future holds. She will forever and always be on our minds.

Baby and Mommy Update

Wow, today was a long doctor's appointment. There were so many patients being seen because of the cancellations yesterday.

I had my ultrasound first, and my baby girl was so happy to be seen again. She was head down and ready said the technician. I thought, "wow, head down already?" I guess she think it is almost time. I quickly told her that she needed to wait a few more weeks. I was wondering why I hadn't felt any bladder kicks in awhile, just pressure, and that was because her big 'ol head is sitting down there now. All her measurements were in the 50th percentile and she weighed 2 lbs and 15 ounces...almost 3 lbs!! So exciting to know that she actually caught up with her gestational age. If you remember reading other posts, she was always a week behind in her growth. But, my baby knows how to eat! I am a proud mommy. Before I left ultrasound, she checked on my potential placenta previa (i know, so many problems) and it had fixed, so we dodged that bullet too!! Thanks baby :) I guestimate that if baby would wait until 40 weeks, she would be about 7-8 lbs by her weight now; 4-5 lbs at 34 weeks. So, I am relieved to know that if she were to be born early, then she wouldn't be too tiny.

My blood pressure was still a little high, but not enough to send me back to labor/delivery again. THANK GOODNESS. But, I am still on bedrest until my appointment Tuesday. They said travel shouldn't be a problem unless Tuesday's appointment showed otherwise AND/OR my urine analysis comes back abnormal this afternoon. So, we either will know something today or by Tuesday. I was also told I will be taking the 3 hour glucose test since I failed the first one...oh joy.

I guess you could say that today's news was good! But, this blood pressure is not creeping down, rather continuing to creep up...which may or may not be good. It is hard to tell with my normal lab results what the exact cause is. But, for now, we can breathe. I am still going to be closely monitored for preeclampsia and I know for a fact they want me to be "mommy couch potato" which is fine by me. I figure if I do get to travel home they will restrict me to the couch there too.

Until Tuesday...

Snow, Snow, you ruined my day!

It is December 16th and Raleigh has already seen snow 3 times since around Thanksgiving. This is odd, very odd. Any other day, I would be thrilled to see snow, the prospect of having no school, and having David home from work all day. However, this day was not the day for snow.

I was supposed to have my blood pressure appointment and a sonogram to measure baby's weight and size, but it was delayed and then cancelled. I am out of school, so having a delay was worthless in that sense. David still went into work because he had things to do. Boo. And I am still on bedrest with no where to go (even if I wanted too). The snow today was about the last thing I wanted to see. I really needed to get into the doctor's so they could check up on my urine analysis and blood pressure (just to get out of the house). I guess it's one more day of tricking David into thinking the urine collection jug is apple juice in the fridge :). Muaha.

In light of this horrible white stuff literally causing a statewide shutdown, I am 29 weeks today! Only 11 more weeks to go (hopefully not any less). I read today that a baby born at 29 weeks has a 9/10 chance of survival. Even though this is a little reassuring, I still do not feel prepared if I were to deliver today or within the next few weeks. I have heard of so many horror stories that premmies go through. My cousin was a premmie. They just struggle to keep up those first few weeks, and it must be such an emotional roller coaster for their mommies. I don't feel ready for that at all. I couldn't imagine leaving the hospital everyday without my daughter and wondering if she'll make it through the night. I am also very terrified of the prospect of having to be on bedrest...in the hospital bed. I can not imagine being on lockdown in a hospital bed for weeks on end. Noo thanks. I dreamed last night that if this were to happen, I would BEG on my knees to stay home. I dreamed of all the things I would say or do to make sure the doctor's felt my pain and let me stay at home. Makes for wonderful sleep huh?

Because I am on bedrest today and I have absolutely nothing to do, I am going to drag out this blog a little longer :)

Things I still need/want before baby girl makes her arrival:
A crib mattress
crib sheets/pads
bottles
sterilizer
bottle warmer
wipe warmer
wipes
diapers, diapers, and more diapers
a few more sets of newborn outfits
a few more sets of 0-3 month outfits
hats, bibs, socks
a pedicure
a few more nights out with the hubby...alone.
a prenatal massage
changing pad and cover
baby bathtub
washclothes
diaper rash creams and lotions
shampoos and wash
hooded towels
baby swing
baby bouncer
possibly a pack and play
a mobile for her crib
warm blankets

Wow, I didn't realize my list was so long...and this isn't even everything I will eventually need. This would just get me started. Praying for atleast 8 more weeks of being preggo and praying for a healthy full-term baby girl.

Until next time...(hopefully for real this time)

A scary wakeup call...

I was talking with my mom a few days ok and jokingly laughed about what if I was on bedrest, I could sleep for the rest of the pregnancy and just stay at home...little did I know, that was nothing to joke about.

Yesterday, I went in for my glucose test and blood draw. After providing the normal urine sample and sitting down for a blood draw (eek, always hate that), the nurse proceeds to take my blood pressure and I would be on my way. She looked at me and said, "wow, that's high." I said, "how high?" "143/100." Wow, that was high. The doctor sent me to a back exam room to lay down for about 20 minutes and she would return to retake my pressure and hopefully I would be on my way then. David was getting nervous because he needed to return to work...and he didn't think the appointment would last longer than 10 minutes. After about a half hour, the doctor took another blood pressure, and what do you know, it was still very high. She said, "Now, Amber, we are going to hook you up to the fetal stress monitor and keep checking this blood pressure, but if it doesn't go down, I am sending you over to labor/delivery to be checked all day." I thought, oh my gosh this is scary now. I started to tear up thinking that being admitted to the hospital was no joke and something I wanted to avoid. I tried my hardest to rest and relax for that next 10 minutes. After one more high reading, they sent me over to the hospital. It was literally like a walk of shame...I felt that I failed for myself and my daughter. Even though the walk was only 5 seconds long, it seemed like forever.

I mentioned to David as we walked into the door, passing by carseats and newborn babies, that this is just a practice run, we are going to be ok. Hey, we atleast know where we are going now when I really need to be here. I was in the hospital bed for nearly 4.5 hours. Waiting patiently for my blood pressure readings and listening to the thump thump of baby girl's heartbeat. The nurses were absolutely amazing, they take good care of the patients. Within my 4.5 hour stay, I saw beds come and go, some with babies and some with a big belly. It was a big wake up call to be sitting in that position. It could very well had been me being whisked away to delivery...only me at 11 weeks early.

David and I watched a little CMT, laughed a little, and tried to make the time go by as quick as possible. Oh, did I mention I had TWO blood draws within 2 hours...OUCH, no thanks. In the same arm, I might add. After the blood work came back normal, the doctor was puzzled. He had no idea why I had such a big spike. My opinion is that my body had a bad reaction to the huge amount of glucose I drank that morning. It's a mystery.

So, now I am on bedrest until further notice with the possibility of no travel unless things "magically" go back to normal. *crosses fingers* I have another appointment in the morning with an ultrasound and another blood pressure check. I pray that everything looks ok, but then again, I kind of hope they can find an answer as to why this all happened. It would make me feel 100 x better to know the cause of this episode. I shall see tomorrow what the future holds.

In light of yesterday, I feel that being admitted was a major wake up call...not to the fact that I am unhealthy, but to the fact that labor really is only 10-11 weeks away...and possibly 5-6 weeks if I end up in the preeclampsia category. Wow, I don't think I am ready. I know that the doctors and nurses will take good care of me and insure nothing bad happens to me or the baby. I felt very safe in their hands and I know the future is bright. I just want my baby girl to be full term before she starts breathing real air. I don't think I could emotionally handle a premature delivery. Not at the moment anyways. But, whatever happens will happen and all I can do is hope that I am prepared.

Until next time...

"You and me, we come from different worlds..." Hootie and The Blowfish have it down when it comes to one of my in-laws (no names mentioned here). I have spent the past 24 hours trying to save my baby shower from sheer and utter disaster, and ended up back where I started. I guess sometimes we just have to accept differences instead try to change them...that is differences in opinions mostly. The sweet lady is trying so hard to turn the baby shower into a family reunion with a big meal, when I all want is a short little gathering with pickles and cake (maybe some punch too). I have just decided to step away and pray that it comes and goes smoothly.

All this seems 10 x worse than it really is due to my hormones and emotional roller coaster of emotions. Hopefully I bounce back into "carefree-go with the flow"Amber after this baby is born. I can hope right?

Tomorrow is my glucose test...blah. Nervous? Yes. Scared? Yes. Ready for it? Yes.

Who Will You Become?

In between the hot flashes, potty breaks, and yawns at today's church sermon, I learned something very valuable. The pastor said something on the lines of "be happy with who you are now, where you are now, who you are becoming, and where you're going." A lot of times, I find myself wishing I was in a better place, a bigger house, or made more money. But, what I should be doing is being thankful for where I am and how far I have gotten.

I believe greed is a powerful entity. It drives us to always be wishing for and wanting more out of life. As long as we let greed control us, we will never be happy with who we are now. I have a roof over my head, am healthy, am expecting my first child, making more money than some, always have food on the table, a car that runs, and have a family who loves me. Shouldn't that be enough? Sadly, I sometimes find myself wishing and wanting more. I wish I had a bigger roof over my head, I made more money, could buy expensive food and dine out, and drive a bigger and better car.

I make it my goal this week to be thankful for where I am and where I am going. I want to find peace with that and be happy for the life I am currently living. I shouldn't day dream about a bigger house or a bigger car, but realize that the house and car I have is more than enough. There are families in this community who are struggling just to have a warm meal ready for their kids or just enough gas to drive them to school. There are plenty of homes that are barely able to pay their heating bill, and some are months behind.

I honestly believe every single one of us can get caught up in this notion of wanting and needing more. We are never satisfied with who we are now. If that was the case, car dealerships would go out of business, restaurants would be shut down, and clothing stores would go bankrupt. Greed drives our world. Maybe if we just stop a few times a day, look around, and be thankful for what we have, a little more peace would full fill our lives. And while we go about our lives this week, think of the ones that really do need more.

Oh dear.

Last night, I started to think how nice it was to sleep in until whenever I wanted. This is the reason why I loved Saturday mornings when I was still in undergrad and highschool. There was nothing like a Friday night when you could go to sleep not needing to get up at a certain time. This is when I began to count the Saturdays I still had left to sleep in.

12 SATURDAYS?!

I only have 12 more Saturday's to take advantage of before a crying and hungry bundle of joy is screaming in my ear about 6am (or earlier). I sat up quickly and began to pant. I didn't realize how fast my "carefree" life was going to end. In just 12 more weeks, I will no longer be taking care of me, myself, and I. My schedule is no longer "my" schedule and my free time is no longer spent napping or lounging in a warm bubble bath. I'm not going to lie, this is a little nerve racking.

Reality is slowly beginning to set in...I have this big hunch that after the baby shower, when her room is ready and waiting, diapers are ready to be used, blankets and clothes are washed, and her crib has sheets on it, and the number of Saturdays I will be able to sleep in is less than the number of fingers I have, this mommy is going to get a BIG wake up call.

I think I need to practice those breathing techniques...like...NOW.

Winter Recipe

So, a few years ago, I was browsing through a cook book I had received as a wedding gift. I found a interesting recipe for ham sandwhiches. Now, this isn't your ordinary ham sandwhich recipe. It has an amazing buttery mustard sauce that will get your taste buds kicking. I made them one winter night, and they were a hit. This recipe is perfect to warm you up...plus, it's super easy to make.

Delightful Little Ham Sandwhiches
12 Rolls (now, I have experimented with several brands and types...my favorite seems to be the potato rolls or plain 'ol tea biscuits)
2 tablespoons of mustard
3 tablespoons of slightly melted butter
2 tablespoons of minced onions
1 tablespoon of poppy seeds
1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce
Ham
Provolone cheese

*All of these measurements can be eye-balled...just keep adding until your satisfied with the taste.

Combine all ingredients into the melted butter. Spread onto sandwhiches before cooking. Layer bread with ham and cheese. Add a layer of sauce on top of bread as well. Cook for 15-20 minutes wrapped in foil at 350*.

Top 10 Pregnancy Cravings

The only thing I can think about these days is food. My pregnancy cravings have certainly got the best of me. Enjoy my top 10 pregnancy cravings!

1. Donuts. I rarely ate donuts when I wasn't pregnant. Maybe on occasion, but definetly never craved them. All of the sudden, as the third trimester rolled in, all I think about is that big, round, sugary, fried ball of dough. However, I haven't ate a signal donut since becoming pregnant...I know once I have that taste in my mouth, I would loose all control. Therefore, donuts are a no-no. I thank God that krispy kreme is a long way away. I can dream can't I?

2. Chick-fil-a. If it came from chick-fil-a, I am craving it. For some reason, I can't go 3 days without having nuggets or a sandwhich. I can't explain it. This craving started early in pregnancy, but has gotten better.

3. Mayonaise. Yuck, I know. But, anything with mayo on it is on my menu. I never really liked too much mayo, or even thought about needing it; but since being pregnant, I love a sandwhich with lots of mayo.

4. Onion rings or hushpuppies. Enough said. I want them, I need them. Why? I don't have a clue. Cookout run anyone? Uh-0, I may have triggered a craving as we speak.

5. Carrots or tomatoes on a salad. They must be eaten with lettuce, or you can forget about it. Before being pregnant, I HATED tomatoes and carrots. Weird, huh?

6. Chocolate chip cookies. Probably on every pregnant woman's top 10 cravings list. Who wouldn't crave them? Yummy deliciousness.

7. Drinking out of a straw...now, I know this isn't a "food" craving...but for some reason, I must drink everything with a straw. Can't explain it.

Don't laugh...but, ever since writing about Hushpuppies, I haven't stopped thinking about them. I am leaving for a Cookout run RIGHT NOW. Don't mess with preggo cravings, yall.

"Smart" Phone

I never thought I would see the day where technology out smarted me. I can't remember a time where I couldn't get anything accomplished on a computer, Ipod, cell phone, PDA, or any other technology before me. Everyone who knew me, knew I was the one who could get their device working again. Am I becoming technologically-dumb or is technology becoming smarter than the average human? Wait...I am not average. I am a Master's student with a college degree who graduated with honors. I was reading and writing before Kindergarten and finishing novels in 2nd grade. I was doing pre-calculus in middle school. How is it possible my cell phone has suddenly become smarter than me? After an hour of trying to reconfigure my replacement phone, I broke down and drove to the store so the professionals could fix it. The phone won this time.

Could it be posisble that technology is becoming smarter than mankind? If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I received your email while driving home, could look up the nearest gas station while out and about, or received my facebook friend request while sitting in class I would have looked at you like you were from another world. I can remember when my mom's cell phone was as big as her forearm and the display was just large enough to show you the numbers you were dialing. It rang, she answered, she hung up. That was it. Today, my cell phone can do more things than I could if sitting at a computer. It can even remind me when my next doctor's appointment is and to wake up in the morning. I can also remember my mom sitting at the desktop for HOURS waiting for the dial up internet to receive a connection. If it was peak time, there was no way she was getting on. I can still hear the noise the computer made when finally establishing a ring. In 2010, I just pop open my computer that sits on my lap and the internet is ready and waiting for me...and I can move from room to room and still have the same connection speed. While checking my email, my phone is updating the messeges I have already read. I rarely hear my phone ring, if some one needs me, I usually get their messege in words instantly. If you were sitting back in 1991, would this all sound bizarre?

I can't imagine what technology is going to do next. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could actually travel through our televisions. If we could smell the food they are preparing on the food network or feel the cold air and snowflakes falling while watching the ball drop in NYC? Now, that would scare me.

White Stuff Weekend

Here we are at Sunday again and ready to say hello to another Monday morning. Why do the weekends always come and go so fast? This weekend was a blast. David and I spent a relaxing Friday night at home with a candle lit sloppy joe dinner (ha). Saturday was full of Christmas shopping and getting a bunch of errands done. Around 2:00 pm on Saturday, we were driving home and saw white stuff falling from the sky. By 4:00, we were seeing a blizzard of white stuff outside our window. It was amazing. The first snow of the 2010-2011 winter season. I believe we accumulated about an inch or so with a few periods of sleet mixed in. That night was the Winter Fest downtown (how fitting for the weather), but we decided to skip this year because I don't believe they allow preggos to ice-skate. Instead, we made a quick run to the grocery store for some chocolate cravings and ordered pizza. It was so nice to just stay in and watch the snow fall.

Today, we had our maternity shoot with an amazing photographer! Some shots were done out by the lake and then some were done inside. I am SO excited and happy we decided to do this. A lot of people I know had a maternity shoot done, so I figured it would be a nice way to cherish this wonderful belly of mine that I hope someday will be gone (with the baby on the outside instead :) ). Baby girl cooperated very well during the shoot, I rarely felt her move. Then, when we did a shot with my laying on the floor...she wasn't too happy. I can't wait to see all the photos we got, and wrap them up for Christmas presents!!

Seeing as how I am done with classes, I'll spend this Monday morning sleepy soundly in my bed. Jealous?

This weekend, David and I are having our third trimester maternity shoot. I am so excited to capture these memories and have these photos to show our family over Christmas. We are doing a few shots at the park behind our place, and then a few inside. I looked at the weather this morning and realized that Sunday is going to be extremely cold...the same day as our shoot. So I guess NC finally decided to show its winter weather. A couple days ago, it was 70 degrees...and now we are barely reaching the high 40's. Oh well, we'll just have to bundle up and take quick pictures. I never have been able to take good pictures, so I am thrilled to have someone professional capture this pregnancy. I just hope she can hide my stretch marks :).

Also this weekend is the Winter Fest downtown. The ice-skating rink is opening for the winter and there is going to be some holiday music and other festivities. I just wish we would have skated last year because I hardly doubt I would be able to skate this year without injuring myself. Maybe we'll get a chance to skate next year with our new addition. If you are in Raleigh this weekend, I highly recommend attending this event. We had a lot of fun last year, even though we were really cold. I believe Jewel was the entertainment last winter. It is so cool to be downtown with all the Christmas lights and people bundled up in their winter gear listening to Christmas music.

Ahhh...the weekend.

Third Trimester!

Hello Third Trimester! Woo hoo! Me and my baby girl have officially made it to our third trimester. I feel very accomplished. Only 9 more weeks to go before we are full term! However, I would much rather her wait until March 3rd or after before she makes her appearance into the world. We have so much to look forward too these next few weeks and years. The next milestone is to pass my gestastional diabetes test, then have a successful baby shower, get her room ready and waiting, and then LABOR.