'Tis a New Year

Even though I am very upset about the situation I have been in for the past few weeks, I am trying not to let it ruin my New Year. But, on the 2nd day of this new year, there will be a baby shower without me in attendance. Boy is it hard not to let that ruin all the good things that are coming my way. As I wrote yesterday, I must not let the things I CAN'T control stress or frustrate me. So, this is my number 1 goal/resolution for 2011. Just to make it official:

1. I will not let things I can't control stress or frustrate me, and regain control of the things I can.

Mark my word. I said it. I will try my hardest to make sure this resolution is fullfilled until December 31, 2011. Hopefully, by then, I won't need to make resolutions about frustration or stress.

My second resolution is all about my daughter. She is number 1 and top priority from this point on. I know it won't be hard to give up my freedom for her sake because she is already the light of my life, but I am sure it will bring on some challenges in the New Year. I am speaking of less sleep, less time to myself, less time with my husband, and less time doing things I want to do.

2. Make my daughter top priority and show her unconditional love for the rest of her life.

Now, what would a new year be without mentioning something about my husband, my soulmate, and my best friend. This past year (or atleast half of it) was mostly about the pregnancy and getting used to the idea of having a newborn in our lives. We didn't get to spend as much time as we would have liked just talking about the two of us. However, we did manage to sneak in a few date nights toward the end of this year. Probably because we realized those nights were slowly dwindling down to being nonexistent.

3. Have a date night with my husband atleast once a month if not more. Even if that means curling up on the couch to watch a movie together...alone. *This may require a babysitter...any takers?

I think having 3 resolutions is good enough. Having anymore would get confusing and difficult. I really need to concentrate on number 1, because that is the thing most affecting my life right now.

Happy New Year!

I have so many thoughts today, I just can't seem to get any down on paper (or virtual paper for that matter).


"Frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. "

Frustration is an awful emotion to have to experience. We first felt this emotion possibly as an infant when we were screaming our heads off because mommy and daddy had no clue that we were hungry, wet, or sleepy. We felt this emotion when we were a toddler and mommy said the word "share." We didn't understand why we had to share our favorite toy. As an adult, I don't think I fully understand the emotion of frustration. I use the word when describing feelings or a situation I have absolutely no control over. It's just so frustrating.

"Stress is a feeling that is created when we react to certain events. It's the bodies way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation."

I have to disagree with that. Stress is something I feel after rising to a tough situation and not being fully prepared to meet it. I often feel stressed when I have fully prepared myself to face a challenge head on, and then end up being slammed back into the ground. The slammers are often people or their personalities that have a way of getting through my thin skin. Of all the lessons I have yet to learn, I still don't know why I can't seem to learn about tough skin. Maybe their is some kind of balm or magical lotion I can put on to ensure people and their words don't get through to me. I usually end up taking things way to personally, and, in the end, I am the only one left stressing.

Writing my thoughts on (virtual) paper seems to be the only way I can somewhat control these emotions and feelings that frustrate and stress me. However, I am positive that you, my reader, could careless about any of it at the moment. So, here goes my 3 attempts to deal...

1. Vent to someone I trust. Well, I am currently sitting alone with 2 dogs and a cat and I have already vented to a few people I trust. They seem to have the "so what" attitude, that I can't seem to master. Possibly this is a lesson to be learned. I'll work on it.

2. Regain control. The only way I can simply regain control is to change my situation, which is not physically possible. So, I must accept the situation as it is and block all negativity. I need to focus on what I CAN control and not what I CAN'T control. I'll work on this too.

3. Figure out my options. Well, currently, I only have one option. So, back to number 2...I need to focus on this one option that I CAN control. The parts I CAN'T control are the people and their personalities that seem to get through me. Back to step 1...I need to adopt the "so what" attitude and not let it bother me. Eh...like I said, I'll work on it.

My Miracle Year

Wow, 2010 is almost over. Can you believe it? I would have to say that 2010 was a life changing year. It started out like a usual year, and then in February I found out I may have had insulin resistance which was causing infertility. Not that David and I were expecting children anytime soon, but we needed to get my side of the deal working properly before we began trying. I figured that now was the time to get my unexplained fertility issues under control. I was determined. I researched everything I could about insulin resistance and infertility and discovered a lot about my body. That same month, I started eating healthier, cutting all sugar (bye bye Snickers Bar), and drinking 2-3 liters of water a day. We hit the gym 3-4 times a week and I started running a mile a day. If you knew me at all, you would never guess that running was even a word in my vocabulary. I hated it. I also started to take a multi-vitamin religiously as well as fish oil. One day I had come across a blog posting about a woman who never had a period unless she took fish oil once a day the entire month. She never knew why, maybe that her body just needed those nutrients before it could work properly. A light bulb went off. Little did I know, that light bulb and a few others is the reason I am where I am today.

April went by and May came just as quickly. David and I had planned a beach trip over our anniversary weekend (May 30th) for a little pre-summer getaway. We had planned on leaving that Thursday and staying until early the next week. We were so excited to get out of town. David had to work that Thursday, so I started packing that morning and getting the house clean. I started noticing these weird feelings in my stomach. Feelings that felt familiar, but I just couldn't wrap my head around it. A few hours later, I went to take a shower, and would you believe it...I had started a cycle. After 5 years, YES 5 YEARS, I had finally had a natural period on my own. This was the most exciting day of my entire life (well, one of them). I called David screaming "it worked, it worked!!!" All the hard work I had been doing had finally payed off. That beach weekend was amazing and I was in heaven knowing that I was finally on my way to being healthy. Even though I could only have a tiny bite of our anniversary cake, I was relieved to know that my body was working and kids were just a blink away.

June came and went and exactly a month later, June 27th, I found out I was pregnant. The most exciting, nerve-wracking, glorious day of my entire life. I had never felt so many emotions rolled into one in one day. I couldn't believe those 2 pink lines that were barely there!! I almost thought I was dreaming and my eyes were just "wanting" to see lines that they miraculously appeared. My hardwork had most definetly payed off. Over July 4th weekend was when we announced the big news. A little early, but I was not about to wait. I couldn't stand not telling my family and showing how excited I was. I still remember the text to my dad...

Amber: Dad, I might have something to tell you.
Dad: Papa?
Amber: Maybe.

Weeks of torment, doctor visits, and restless days/nights later, I am finally 31 weeks pregnant and the proudest mommy-to-be in the whole world. Never ever did I imagine I would be pregnant in 2010. That about sums up my year. I wouldn't have changed anything about this year. I guess I can call this "my miracle year."

Now, for 2011...I have only 3 goals.
1. Loose all this pregnancy weight and start my running routine again.
2. Be the happiest and proudest mommy the world knows.
3. Continue to relax and stay healthy so that number 2 isn't such a struggle.

Ok...and one more...Love this child unconditionally for the rest of her life.

Catching Up

I feel like I have neglected my blog. Between the holidays, traveling, and spending 2 long days in the hospital, I haven't had much time to sit down and write. Let's start with Christmas, shall we?

We went home last Thursday (Christmas eve, eve) and the ride was uneventful. There was hardly any traffic. The weather was perfect and excitement was in the air. I had an amazing lunch and talk with Alyssa on Christmas eve. It was so good to have girl talk and not just a one on one conversation with my belly or my husband glued to football on TV. She got me this adorable Christmas tree ornament that says "Mommy to be" and "2010" on it. Did I mention it matches my tree PERFECTLY? I decided after receiving this that I was going to start Macy an ornament collection, and she just received her first one! Yay for starting new traditions! Christmas morning was about the same as any other, minus my dad's amazing breakfast...but he did manage to cook it the next morning. It started snowing around 9:00 am, and we were to be at my grandparents around lunch. My sister and I decided to leave early in case the snow got to bad to drive. We didn't want to miss Christmas with the family. We left the house around 10:15 and by the time we got to my grandparents around 10:30, there was already atleast an inch or two accumulated. It was so pretty! The first white Christmas of my lifetime! It was very special to share it with my growing little one too. However, she didn't get to see how beautiful it was. We got pictures to show her when she is older. By that night, we had about 5-6 inches and the roads were HORRIBLE. David and I had a very scary trip back to the house, passing cars in ditches and seeing people slide on every turn. We made it home just in time to pass by a jeep stranded in a ditch outside the house. That was our "entertainment" for the next 2 hours. We watched trucks try and help him get out. Finally, he made it out with 2 mailboxes hooked on to the front. I'm sure the owners weren't too happy to find their mailboxes gone the next morning.

We were going to leave Sunday, but Raleigh was pounded by snow, so we stayed until Monday morning. The drive back was a little tricky closer to Raleigh, but we came back in one peice! I made it home with a new baby swing, baby monitor, baby clothes, a memory book from Aunt Lena, and cute little blankets. And David had the swing and monitor up and working right away! It's very cute and I can't wait to see my baby girl swinging away.

The holiday vacation was historical and wonderful at the same time! I can't wait until next year when my little one isn't so little anymore. She'll be almost walking and dragging the ornaments off the tree. Santa Clause will actually have a reason to stop by. Next on the list...BABY!

Since I was about 12 weeks pregnant (after my projectile vomiting episode), I have been seeing repetitive numbers everywhere: in my bank account, on licence plates, on the cash register, and especially on clocks. One time, David and I had the same amount of money in our checking accounts, and it was repetitive! I would see 1:11, 2:22, or 3:33 almost everyday! I didn't think much of it until recently I came across a blog that looked into this odd phenomenon. For the past 2 or 3 months, the 222 sequence has been most popular with me. I will ALWAYS see the clock at exactly 2:22. Coincidence? I thought so, until today.

I have had some pretty scary news the past week or two with my blood pressure and possible preeclampsia. I went in to my follow up OB appointment for another blood pressure check and stress test for the baby. My blood pressure was ok and the stress test on the baby was perfect. She did everything she was supposed to do. I was cleared to travel for Christmas, but I am still under watch for abnormal signs of preeclampsia. As I was walking out of the doctor's office, I glanced at my phone to text David and what do you know...it was 2:22 pm. I thought, NO WAY! There is no possible way I could have just seen that number by coincidence since it had been happening to me so much lately. I googled a possible meaning for 222, and it turns out that seeing repetitive numbers or even specifically 222 means that God is guiding you in the right path and is saying to you that everything is going to be ok and he is going to make everything work out perfectly. Wow.

I don't believe in these so called "signs," but I am starting to wonder. Maybe being pregnant has a mother more intuned into the world and her surroundings, or maybe a little bit of both.

What I Won't Miss

I feel so much better than I have been in the past few days. I am still getting headaches if I walk around too much, which is my clue to sit down. Tomorrow is my final OB checkup before CHRISTMAS! They will let me know whether I can officially travel home and what other restrictions I may have. Even if they say I am good to go, I know for a fact I won't be going as hard as I used too. My body lets me know when I need to take it slow. But, I doubt the news will be that great.

I honestly can't believe I am 10 weeks (at the most) away from seeing my baby girl. I bet I will be so glad to have this third trimester over with...it has already taken its toll on me. For all of you who don't think being pregnant is a big deal, well it is. Your body is working over time all the time to keep up with two fast growing bodies and your hormones have gone crazy. Still don't believe me? Keep reading...

10 Things I won't miss after delivery:
1. Stretch Marks. Enough said there. They have taken over my belly, and I just hope they go away.

2. Having your blood drawn. I have had my blood drawn so many times, there is a permanent bruise on my right arm. Especially when I was in triage 2 times this week, I had my blood drawn a total of 5 times in 4 days. It isn't fun at all. A funny story: I was sitting at the doctor's last week waiting and this girl came in for her first OB blood work up after she got a positive pregnancy test. She almost passed out after the draw. You could tell she hated every minute of it. I felt so bad for her, but I wanted to say "get used to it, girl, because you'll be doing this a whole lot more. Welcome to pregnancy."

3. Constipation. Yep. It plagues the best of us. I only had it for a few weeks, but it definitely doesn't feel good when things are finally ready to leave.

4. Hemorrhoids. Along with the constipation, these little buggers are one of the worst things that come with pregnancy. Its like an itch you can't scratch. If you are unfamiliar with them, just wait until you see 2 pink lines. They hurt, they bleed, and they are so annoying!

5. Bedrest. Since I have had blood pressure issues, I have been on bedrest already for about a week. In just a week's time, I have come to hate bedrest and PRAY I won't be on it any longer. It seems like a great idea until you actually are forced to keep your feet up. Try it during the holidays. Everyone else out shopping when your at home...sitting...bored...sitting.

6. Projectile vomiting without warning. Thank goodness mine only lasted 4 weeks total...However, the nausea lasted for about 12 weeks. Both of these are no fun and are another one of the worst things about being pregnant.

7. Backaches. O-M-G. Even a nice warm bubble bath doesn't take the pain away.

8. Being kicked in the bladder, all night, every night, every day, all day. I was able to experience this for a few weeks until my baby girl turned head down. Now, I just have her head laying on it constantly.

9. Not being able to shave or see your feet. Yea, it just isn't possible anymore.

10. Balance issues. I trip, I fall, I sway, I loose control. My balance is HORRIBLE now. I can't even put on shoes without almost falling over.


Until tomorrow...

Stuck in a hard place...

I am trying to decide whether to say...
1. "AHHHH, this is the life!"
or
2. "I want to be normal again, go shopping, walk around, go out, get out of this house!"

1. Ahhh, this is the life. I am currently sitting on the couch (with my feet up) watching David scurry around while cleaning the house. I have orders to sit and relax. I don't have to clean, cook, or do laundry. I can wear pajamas all day and never get dressed!

2. I just want to be normal again. It is the last weekend before Christmas, and everyone else and their family is out shopping and absorbing all the Christmas spirit in the air. I am stuck in this house with 2 dogs and a cat who keep terrorizing my Christmas tree. I can't walk or shop or do anything I desperatly want to do right now. I want a few more weekends alone, on a date, with my hubby. I want to buy Christmas presents in the store rather than online and shipped to my house. I want to ride around and look at Christmas lights. I want to put on a cute little maternity dress and go out to the mall and show off my belly. Rather, I am stuck in the bed in pajamas.

My dilemma is an obvious one. I am stuck between enjoying this bedrest and hating it. Part 1. of me is thinking this is heaven and part 2. of me thinks this is like hell. Then, I look down at my huge belly and remember who is inside of me. My little girl, my daughter, is inside of me and she is number 1 as of this moment on. The day she was conceived was the day that my life was no longer top priority. However, I didn't need to put my life in the back seat until now. It is all becoming reality that raising a child is no easy task. Sure, I was like a lot of mommies who thought being pregnant would be a piece of cake. Boy, were we ALL wrong.

It seems as if the minute that I stepped into the 3rd trimester, my body went all to hell. I pray this isn't a sign of more to come. David's horoscope was very ironic yesterday. It said something on the lines of: today was like a beam into the future, it showed you how your life is becoming. I thought, wow, being in the hospital with just one little girl and her health and wellbeing on our minds is what our future holds. She will forever and always be on our minds.

Baby and Mommy Update

Wow, today was a long doctor's appointment. There were so many patients being seen because of the cancellations yesterday.

I had my ultrasound first, and my baby girl was so happy to be seen again. She was head down and ready said the technician. I thought, "wow, head down already?" I guess she think it is almost time. I quickly told her that she needed to wait a few more weeks. I was wondering why I hadn't felt any bladder kicks in awhile, just pressure, and that was because her big 'ol head is sitting down there now. All her measurements were in the 50th percentile and she weighed 2 lbs and 15 ounces...almost 3 lbs!! So exciting to know that she actually caught up with her gestational age. If you remember reading other posts, she was always a week behind in her growth. But, my baby knows how to eat! I am a proud mommy. Before I left ultrasound, she checked on my potential placenta previa (i know, so many problems) and it had fixed, so we dodged that bullet too!! Thanks baby :) I guestimate that if baby would wait until 40 weeks, she would be about 7-8 lbs by her weight now; 4-5 lbs at 34 weeks. So, I am relieved to know that if she were to be born early, then she wouldn't be too tiny.

My blood pressure was still a little high, but not enough to send me back to labor/delivery again. THANK GOODNESS. But, I am still on bedrest until my appointment Tuesday. They said travel shouldn't be a problem unless Tuesday's appointment showed otherwise AND/OR my urine analysis comes back abnormal this afternoon. So, we either will know something today or by Tuesday. I was also told I will be taking the 3 hour glucose test since I failed the first one...oh joy.

I guess you could say that today's news was good! But, this blood pressure is not creeping down, rather continuing to creep up...which may or may not be good. It is hard to tell with my normal lab results what the exact cause is. But, for now, we can breathe. I am still going to be closely monitored for preeclampsia and I know for a fact they want me to be "mommy couch potato" which is fine by me. I figure if I do get to travel home they will restrict me to the couch there too.

Until Tuesday...

Snow, Snow, you ruined my day!

It is December 16th and Raleigh has already seen snow 3 times since around Thanksgiving. This is odd, very odd. Any other day, I would be thrilled to see snow, the prospect of having no school, and having David home from work all day. However, this day was not the day for snow.

I was supposed to have my blood pressure appointment and a sonogram to measure baby's weight and size, but it was delayed and then cancelled. I am out of school, so having a delay was worthless in that sense. David still went into work because he had things to do. Boo. And I am still on bedrest with no where to go (even if I wanted too). The snow today was about the last thing I wanted to see. I really needed to get into the doctor's so they could check up on my urine analysis and blood pressure (just to get out of the house). I guess it's one more day of tricking David into thinking the urine collection jug is apple juice in the fridge :). Muaha.

In light of this horrible white stuff literally causing a statewide shutdown, I am 29 weeks today! Only 11 more weeks to go (hopefully not any less). I read today that a baby born at 29 weeks has a 9/10 chance of survival. Even though this is a little reassuring, I still do not feel prepared if I were to deliver today or within the next few weeks. I have heard of so many horror stories that premmies go through. My cousin was a premmie. They just struggle to keep up those first few weeks, and it must be such an emotional roller coaster for their mommies. I don't feel ready for that at all. I couldn't imagine leaving the hospital everyday without my daughter and wondering if she'll make it through the night. I am also very terrified of the prospect of having to be on bedrest...in the hospital bed. I can not imagine being on lockdown in a hospital bed for weeks on end. Noo thanks. I dreamed last night that if this were to happen, I would BEG on my knees to stay home. I dreamed of all the things I would say or do to make sure the doctor's felt my pain and let me stay at home. Makes for wonderful sleep huh?

Because I am on bedrest today and I have absolutely nothing to do, I am going to drag out this blog a little longer :)

Things I still need/want before baby girl makes her arrival:
A crib mattress
crib sheets/pads
bottles
sterilizer
bottle warmer
wipe warmer
wipes
diapers, diapers, and more diapers
a few more sets of newborn outfits
a few more sets of 0-3 month outfits
hats, bibs, socks
a pedicure
a few more nights out with the hubby...alone.
a prenatal massage
changing pad and cover
baby bathtub
washclothes
diaper rash creams and lotions
shampoos and wash
hooded towels
baby swing
baby bouncer
possibly a pack and play
a mobile for her crib
warm blankets

Wow, I didn't realize my list was so long...and this isn't even everything I will eventually need. This would just get me started. Praying for atleast 8 more weeks of being preggo and praying for a healthy full-term baby girl.

Until next time...(hopefully for real this time)

A scary wakeup call...

I was talking with my mom a few days ok and jokingly laughed about what if I was on bedrest, I could sleep for the rest of the pregnancy and just stay at home...little did I know, that was nothing to joke about.

Yesterday, I went in for my glucose test and blood draw. After providing the normal urine sample and sitting down for a blood draw (eek, always hate that), the nurse proceeds to take my blood pressure and I would be on my way. She looked at me and said, "wow, that's high." I said, "how high?" "143/100." Wow, that was high. The doctor sent me to a back exam room to lay down for about 20 minutes and she would return to retake my pressure and hopefully I would be on my way then. David was getting nervous because he needed to return to work...and he didn't think the appointment would last longer than 10 minutes. After about a half hour, the doctor took another blood pressure, and what do you know, it was still very high. She said, "Now, Amber, we are going to hook you up to the fetal stress monitor and keep checking this blood pressure, but if it doesn't go down, I am sending you over to labor/delivery to be checked all day." I thought, oh my gosh this is scary now. I started to tear up thinking that being admitted to the hospital was no joke and something I wanted to avoid. I tried my hardest to rest and relax for that next 10 minutes. After one more high reading, they sent me over to the hospital. It was literally like a walk of shame...I felt that I failed for myself and my daughter. Even though the walk was only 5 seconds long, it seemed like forever.

I mentioned to David as we walked into the door, passing by carseats and newborn babies, that this is just a practice run, we are going to be ok. Hey, we atleast know where we are going now when I really need to be here. I was in the hospital bed for nearly 4.5 hours. Waiting patiently for my blood pressure readings and listening to the thump thump of baby girl's heartbeat. The nurses were absolutely amazing, they take good care of the patients. Within my 4.5 hour stay, I saw beds come and go, some with babies and some with a big belly. It was a big wake up call to be sitting in that position. It could very well had been me being whisked away to delivery...only me at 11 weeks early.

David and I watched a little CMT, laughed a little, and tried to make the time go by as quick as possible. Oh, did I mention I had TWO blood draws within 2 hours...OUCH, no thanks. In the same arm, I might add. After the blood work came back normal, the doctor was puzzled. He had no idea why I had such a big spike. My opinion is that my body had a bad reaction to the huge amount of glucose I drank that morning. It's a mystery.

So, now I am on bedrest until further notice with the possibility of no travel unless things "magically" go back to normal. *crosses fingers* I have another appointment in the morning with an ultrasound and another blood pressure check. I pray that everything looks ok, but then again, I kind of hope they can find an answer as to why this all happened. It would make me feel 100 x better to know the cause of this episode. I shall see tomorrow what the future holds.

In light of yesterday, I feel that being admitted was a major wake up call...not to the fact that I am unhealthy, but to the fact that labor really is only 10-11 weeks away...and possibly 5-6 weeks if I end up in the preeclampsia category. Wow, I don't think I am ready. I know that the doctors and nurses will take good care of me and insure nothing bad happens to me or the baby. I felt very safe in their hands and I know the future is bright. I just want my baby girl to be full term before she starts breathing real air. I don't think I could emotionally handle a premature delivery. Not at the moment anyways. But, whatever happens will happen and all I can do is hope that I am prepared.

Until next time...

"You and me, we come from different worlds..." Hootie and The Blowfish have it down when it comes to one of my in-laws (no names mentioned here). I have spent the past 24 hours trying to save my baby shower from sheer and utter disaster, and ended up back where I started. I guess sometimes we just have to accept differences instead try to change them...that is differences in opinions mostly. The sweet lady is trying so hard to turn the baby shower into a family reunion with a big meal, when I all want is a short little gathering with pickles and cake (maybe some punch too). I have just decided to step away and pray that it comes and goes smoothly.

All this seems 10 x worse than it really is due to my hormones and emotional roller coaster of emotions. Hopefully I bounce back into "carefree-go with the flow"Amber after this baby is born. I can hope right?

Tomorrow is my glucose test...blah. Nervous? Yes. Scared? Yes. Ready for it? Yes.

Who Will You Become?

In between the hot flashes, potty breaks, and yawns at today's church sermon, I learned something very valuable. The pastor said something on the lines of "be happy with who you are now, where you are now, who you are becoming, and where you're going." A lot of times, I find myself wishing I was in a better place, a bigger house, or made more money. But, what I should be doing is being thankful for where I am and how far I have gotten.

I believe greed is a powerful entity. It drives us to always be wishing for and wanting more out of life. As long as we let greed control us, we will never be happy with who we are now. I have a roof over my head, am healthy, am expecting my first child, making more money than some, always have food on the table, a car that runs, and have a family who loves me. Shouldn't that be enough? Sadly, I sometimes find myself wishing and wanting more. I wish I had a bigger roof over my head, I made more money, could buy expensive food and dine out, and drive a bigger and better car.

I make it my goal this week to be thankful for where I am and where I am going. I want to find peace with that and be happy for the life I am currently living. I shouldn't day dream about a bigger house or a bigger car, but realize that the house and car I have is more than enough. There are families in this community who are struggling just to have a warm meal ready for their kids or just enough gas to drive them to school. There are plenty of homes that are barely able to pay their heating bill, and some are months behind.

I honestly believe every single one of us can get caught up in this notion of wanting and needing more. We are never satisfied with who we are now. If that was the case, car dealerships would go out of business, restaurants would be shut down, and clothing stores would go bankrupt. Greed drives our world. Maybe if we just stop a few times a day, look around, and be thankful for what we have, a little more peace would full fill our lives. And while we go about our lives this week, think of the ones that really do need more.

Oh dear.

Last night, I started to think how nice it was to sleep in until whenever I wanted. This is the reason why I loved Saturday mornings when I was still in undergrad and highschool. There was nothing like a Friday night when you could go to sleep not needing to get up at a certain time. This is when I began to count the Saturdays I still had left to sleep in.

12 SATURDAYS?!

I only have 12 more Saturday's to take advantage of before a crying and hungry bundle of joy is screaming in my ear about 6am (or earlier). I sat up quickly and began to pant. I didn't realize how fast my "carefree" life was going to end. In just 12 more weeks, I will no longer be taking care of me, myself, and I. My schedule is no longer "my" schedule and my free time is no longer spent napping or lounging in a warm bubble bath. I'm not going to lie, this is a little nerve racking.

Reality is slowly beginning to set in...I have this big hunch that after the baby shower, when her room is ready and waiting, diapers are ready to be used, blankets and clothes are washed, and her crib has sheets on it, and the number of Saturdays I will be able to sleep in is less than the number of fingers I have, this mommy is going to get a BIG wake up call.

I think I need to practice those breathing techniques...like...NOW.

Winter Recipe

So, a few years ago, I was browsing through a cook book I had received as a wedding gift. I found a interesting recipe for ham sandwhiches. Now, this isn't your ordinary ham sandwhich recipe. It has an amazing buttery mustard sauce that will get your taste buds kicking. I made them one winter night, and they were a hit. This recipe is perfect to warm you up...plus, it's super easy to make.

Delightful Little Ham Sandwhiches
12 Rolls (now, I have experimented with several brands and types...my favorite seems to be the potato rolls or plain 'ol tea biscuits)
2 tablespoons of mustard
3 tablespoons of slightly melted butter
2 tablespoons of minced onions
1 tablespoon of poppy seeds
1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce
Ham
Provolone cheese

*All of these measurements can be eye-balled...just keep adding until your satisfied with the taste.

Combine all ingredients into the melted butter. Spread onto sandwhiches before cooking. Layer bread with ham and cheese. Add a layer of sauce on top of bread as well. Cook for 15-20 minutes wrapped in foil at 350*.

Top 10 Pregnancy Cravings

The only thing I can think about these days is food. My pregnancy cravings have certainly got the best of me. Enjoy my top 10 pregnancy cravings!

1. Donuts. I rarely ate donuts when I wasn't pregnant. Maybe on occasion, but definetly never craved them. All of the sudden, as the third trimester rolled in, all I think about is that big, round, sugary, fried ball of dough. However, I haven't ate a signal donut since becoming pregnant...I know once I have that taste in my mouth, I would loose all control. Therefore, donuts are a no-no. I thank God that krispy kreme is a long way away. I can dream can't I?

2. Chick-fil-a. If it came from chick-fil-a, I am craving it. For some reason, I can't go 3 days without having nuggets or a sandwhich. I can't explain it. This craving started early in pregnancy, but has gotten better.

3. Mayonaise. Yuck, I know. But, anything with mayo on it is on my menu. I never really liked too much mayo, or even thought about needing it; but since being pregnant, I love a sandwhich with lots of mayo.

4. Onion rings or hushpuppies. Enough said. I want them, I need them. Why? I don't have a clue. Cookout run anyone? Uh-0, I may have triggered a craving as we speak.

5. Carrots or tomatoes on a salad. They must be eaten with lettuce, or you can forget about it. Before being pregnant, I HATED tomatoes and carrots. Weird, huh?

6. Chocolate chip cookies. Probably on every pregnant woman's top 10 cravings list. Who wouldn't crave them? Yummy deliciousness.

7. Drinking out of a straw...now, I know this isn't a "food" craving...but for some reason, I must drink everything with a straw. Can't explain it.

Don't laugh...but, ever since writing about Hushpuppies, I haven't stopped thinking about them. I am leaving for a Cookout run RIGHT NOW. Don't mess with preggo cravings, yall.

"Smart" Phone

I never thought I would see the day where technology out smarted me. I can't remember a time where I couldn't get anything accomplished on a computer, Ipod, cell phone, PDA, or any other technology before me. Everyone who knew me, knew I was the one who could get their device working again. Am I becoming technologically-dumb or is technology becoming smarter than the average human? Wait...I am not average. I am a Master's student with a college degree who graduated with honors. I was reading and writing before Kindergarten and finishing novels in 2nd grade. I was doing pre-calculus in middle school. How is it possible my cell phone has suddenly become smarter than me? After an hour of trying to reconfigure my replacement phone, I broke down and drove to the store so the professionals could fix it. The phone won this time.

Could it be posisble that technology is becoming smarter than mankind? If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I received your email while driving home, could look up the nearest gas station while out and about, or received my facebook friend request while sitting in class I would have looked at you like you were from another world. I can remember when my mom's cell phone was as big as her forearm and the display was just large enough to show you the numbers you were dialing. It rang, she answered, she hung up. That was it. Today, my cell phone can do more things than I could if sitting at a computer. It can even remind me when my next doctor's appointment is and to wake up in the morning. I can also remember my mom sitting at the desktop for HOURS waiting for the dial up internet to receive a connection. If it was peak time, there was no way she was getting on. I can still hear the noise the computer made when finally establishing a ring. In 2010, I just pop open my computer that sits on my lap and the internet is ready and waiting for me...and I can move from room to room and still have the same connection speed. While checking my email, my phone is updating the messeges I have already read. I rarely hear my phone ring, if some one needs me, I usually get their messege in words instantly. If you were sitting back in 1991, would this all sound bizarre?

I can't imagine what technology is going to do next. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could actually travel through our televisions. If we could smell the food they are preparing on the food network or feel the cold air and snowflakes falling while watching the ball drop in NYC? Now, that would scare me.

White Stuff Weekend

Here we are at Sunday again and ready to say hello to another Monday morning. Why do the weekends always come and go so fast? This weekend was a blast. David and I spent a relaxing Friday night at home with a candle lit sloppy joe dinner (ha). Saturday was full of Christmas shopping and getting a bunch of errands done. Around 2:00 pm on Saturday, we were driving home and saw white stuff falling from the sky. By 4:00, we were seeing a blizzard of white stuff outside our window. It was amazing. The first snow of the 2010-2011 winter season. I believe we accumulated about an inch or so with a few periods of sleet mixed in. That night was the Winter Fest downtown (how fitting for the weather), but we decided to skip this year because I don't believe they allow preggos to ice-skate. Instead, we made a quick run to the grocery store for some chocolate cravings and ordered pizza. It was so nice to just stay in and watch the snow fall.

Today, we had our maternity shoot with an amazing photographer! Some shots were done out by the lake and then some were done inside. I am SO excited and happy we decided to do this. A lot of people I know had a maternity shoot done, so I figured it would be a nice way to cherish this wonderful belly of mine that I hope someday will be gone (with the baby on the outside instead :) ). Baby girl cooperated very well during the shoot, I rarely felt her move. Then, when we did a shot with my laying on the floor...she wasn't too happy. I can't wait to see all the photos we got, and wrap them up for Christmas presents!!

Seeing as how I am done with classes, I'll spend this Monday morning sleepy soundly in my bed. Jealous?

This weekend, David and I are having our third trimester maternity shoot. I am so excited to capture these memories and have these photos to show our family over Christmas. We are doing a few shots at the park behind our place, and then a few inside. I looked at the weather this morning and realized that Sunday is going to be extremely cold...the same day as our shoot. So I guess NC finally decided to show its winter weather. A couple days ago, it was 70 degrees...and now we are barely reaching the high 40's. Oh well, we'll just have to bundle up and take quick pictures. I never have been able to take good pictures, so I am thrilled to have someone professional capture this pregnancy. I just hope she can hide my stretch marks :).

Also this weekend is the Winter Fest downtown. The ice-skating rink is opening for the winter and there is going to be some holiday music and other festivities. I just wish we would have skated last year because I hardly doubt I would be able to skate this year without injuring myself. Maybe we'll get a chance to skate next year with our new addition. If you are in Raleigh this weekend, I highly recommend attending this event. We had a lot of fun last year, even though we were really cold. I believe Jewel was the entertainment last winter. It is so cool to be downtown with all the Christmas lights and people bundled up in their winter gear listening to Christmas music.

Ahhh...the weekend.

Third Trimester!

Hello Third Trimester! Woo hoo! Me and my baby girl have officially made it to our third trimester. I feel very accomplished. Only 9 more weeks to go before we are full term! However, I would much rather her wait until March 3rd or after before she makes her appearance into the world. We have so much to look forward too these next few weeks and years. The next milestone is to pass my gestastional diabetes test, then have a successful baby shower, get her room ready and waiting, and then LABOR.

It has been awhile since I updated my blog. I am trying to stay busy to keep my mind off the upcoming gestational diabetes test in 2 weeks. For some reason, I am really worried about the test. I don't think I have ever consumed that much sugar in one day in my entire life, let alone in 5 minutes. I am concerned about how my body will react, and I am concerned about the results of the test. Let's hope all works out and everything is normal.

I am enjoying seeing all the Christmas lights go up around the city. I can't believe the year is almost over. I especially love this time of year and being able to spend time with family and friends. I can't wait until our little girl can experience her first Christmas...she'll be about 9 months old. Wow.

All I must do now is get through this week of classes and 2 final exams, and I'll be home free. Bring on Christmas!!

Thanksgiving 2010

Well, I am now stuffed and ready to start listening to Christmas music. Thanksgiving was a success! I was so excited to show everyone my baby bump and update them on her progress. I even shopped Black Friday at midnight (which I will never ever do again). My sister and I decided to join the rest of the world at Walmart on midnight after Thanksgiving dinner. It was pure madness...enough said. I have never seen people act that crazy. I ended up buying a 10 piece frame set for $7, a down pillow for $7, and a 40 piece tubberware set for $9. On Friday, we made our rounds to Target, Best Buy, and Kohls and went home with some great Christmas gifts and a DVD for me :). After lunch, I met my grandmother at Goodwill and found some AWESOME maternity clothes for cheap. I was very excited about that. And of course we made a pitstop to my favorite store, hobby lobby, for some nursery decor.

The best part about Thanksgiving, besides being with family, was the sweet potato casserole my aunt made. It was so good. That is the one dish I look forward too. Baby girl and I definetly had our share of thanksgiving food and shopping.

Next stop...CHRISTMAS :)

25 week Check-up

This morning I had my 25 week check up appointment with the OB. She said baby was transverse and probably facing my back, making it very hard to find her heartbeat. I knew she was stubborn like her daddy. The doc said not to worry just yet, but in the next few weeks, she needs to start making her way head down. I mumbled to myself, "you can't tell this child what to do, she does exactly what she wants...when she wants." (as my mom says...like mom like daughter). It did give me a slight scare, but I am assured by her constant kicks. My belly measured on track, but my weight did not. Er. I don't want to discuss that.

I ended up crying to the hubs on the way home because I was so upset about the weight thing and about her not facing the way she should have been. Emotinal rollercoster once again. My next appointment is the gestational diabetes test where I have to chug a bottle with 50 mgs of sugar in it an hour before they take my blood. Oh, that will be fun. I was told I might get sick. GREAT, exactly what I wanted to hear. Not such a good way to start off my Thanksgiving week, but I am totally over it now. She can kick me all she wants, but when its time to show the doctor what she's made of, she goes and hides. Hum.

Today is what I like to call "marathon cleaning day." Basically, I end up literally running a marathon while cleaning. I am very, very anal about the house being clean, especially before we take a vacay. I would HATE to come back to a messy house...it has to be spotless.

I am so ready for turkey...soooo, was I dreaming when the doctor said to watch my weight? yeah.

Finally!

Monday madness...not exactly. This Monday was similar to last; very relaxing and overall enjoyable. I took my preggo belly on some errands to the Verizon store, Target, and to the consignment to find another maternity shirt. I hesitate when I think about needing another maternity shirt, but in reality, it is hard to do laundry everyday. Also, most of the shirts I bought early on only fit me then. Now, I have a much bigger bump and those shirts are way too small.

I am so excited that this week is finally Thanksgiving. I get to indulge in all the goodness and not have to worry about how many pounds I am going to gain. This year, putting on a few extra pounds is ok (and covered up). Tomorrow will be full of cleaning and packing and getting this bunch on the road at lunch Wednesday.

Have a GREAT thanksgiving everyone! :)

$10,000?

It's FRIDAY! Besides waking up to a kicking baby, a sore back, and a growling stomach, I feel pretty good! As I am watching The Price is Right, I kind of wish someone would ring my door bell and say..."AMBER, IT'S A NEW CAR," or maybe "AMBER, YOU'VE WON $10,000." That would really make my day! However, I don't live in TV land. What would make this day 10 times better, though, would be someone to ring my door bell and say, "Amber, here is a box of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, an entire dish of sweet potato casserole, an award winning pumpkin pie, an oven baked pizza straight from Italy, and a Dante's (an amazing sub place at home) sub." Apparently, my cravings are getting the best of me. Even though I would much rather have a new car or cash, I'll take any of the above if someone would just bring it to me. Being pregnant is hard work.

Happy Friday!

25 Weeks and Counting

Today, I am 25 weeks! Woot Woot, what a big milestone! In just 11 short weeks, I will be full term :). Wow, it is hard to imagine that in just 3 months, I will be holding my little baby girl who is now jumping and twirling inside me. EXCITED!

I honestly did not think that being pregnant would go by this fast, or be this fun. I have thoroughly enjoyed showing off my baby bump, which is now an undeniable bump. I do realize, though, that the next 3 months will bring out an even bigger bump. Possibly the biggest bump I have ever seen. Now for a recap of the past 25 weeks:

On June 27th, I found out I was pregnant. The test was VERY faint, and I honestly thought it could be wrong...but, the next few mornings proved otherwise. After seeing an obvious line 3 times in a row, I got so nervous and overly anxious that I had an anxiety attack one afternoon. I ended up jumping in a cold shower just to calm myself down (with all my clothes on). I seriously could not believe that we had conceived after all my fertility issues (that is another story). A few days later, we went home for the 4th of July and I told my family we were expecting. I didn't plan on telling anyone that early due to possible complications, but I couldn't help myself. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me. And, let's just say that spending the 4th of July on a boat on the lake wasn't the best idea...PUKE.

A week later, we had our first OB appointment to confirm. I was issued an ultrasound early because of some spotting. They couldn't find any evidence of anything wrong other than a weak heartbeat. Wow, that was rough news to take. After finding out your dreams have come true and then hearing the doctor say, "Well, you could have a miscarriage since you had spotting," is ROUGH. Well, 7 days later I came in for another ultrasound and there my little one was with a heartbeat beating fast away. I honestly think my heart fell out of my chest at that moment. I was SO relieved and so thankful. It was a miracle no doubt.

At my 9 week OB appointment, the doctor asked if I had had any morning sickness or nausea. I said, "OH NO, I haven't had anything, must be my luck." HAHA. I should have eaten my words right then and there because that night was my first vomiting attack. I woke up around 1am and threw up right in the kitchen sink while screaming for David to come help. He was so asleep that he didn't even realize I had thrown up the next morning. Well, the next day I was fine. But the next day, I threw up lunch while sitting in the bathtub. Yes, I can recall every detail. HORRIFIC. I spent the next few weeks throwing up every day or so, without much warning. Around 12-13 weeks, it just stopped. I was nauseous for a few days, but never threw anything up. PRAISE THE LORD. I was so happy to finally be able to go out shopping or to the grocery store without fear of embarrassing myself. I am so glad that all the vomiting had stopped 3 days before the start of classes. Dodged a major bullet there. However, I was very sickly feeling that first week...but, all went well.

At 16.5 weeks, we found out we were expecting a baby girl. The best news yet. I can't even tell you how excited I was to finally be able to say "she." I could careless if she was a boy or girl, I just wanted to know so bad. Here we are at 25 weeks, and this little one does not stop amazing me. She is such a miracle in every single way. Coming from not being able to conceive to finally getting pregnant to a threatened miscarriage to a beautiful baby girl kicking and squirming has been an amazing journey. I would do it all again in a second, minus the vomiting and complications. I sometimes wonder if number 2 and 3 will make me as sick as I was with this one.

The next steps are having a successful baby shower for the little one, making it to full term, and then going through labor. 15 weeks away from excruciating pain...oh dear. 15 weeks away from seeing my baby girl...oh YES!

Wordless Wednesday

Is it Wednesday? I feel like my days are running together this week. Since the title of this blog is "wordless" Wednesday, I have the photo of the day thanks to Nat. Geo. Kind of scary...prepare yourself.


http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/?source=NavPhoPOD

Mindless Monday

The saddest part about the weekend is that it has to end with a Monday. Why are Monday's always so bad? I guess because the week looks so long when your sitting at Monday. I think I despise Tuesday. Tuesdays seem to be that day where you got over Monday, but there is still 3 more days left before you can call it the weekend. It's like a Monday re-run. However, my Monday was awesome! The best Monday I have had all semester. Class was cancelled and I slept in until 12. David brought me lunch and then I sat in bed and watched Knocked Up (haha how fitting). You might say my Monday was "wasted" but it sure felt good to do nothing.

Just a few "Mindless Monday" thoughts on my mind:

-What in the world am I going to cook for dinner all week? I usually plan these things out and get everything I need at the grocery store on Sunday, but this week it's a toss up.

-I am going to push my self at the gym this week since we didn't make it at all last week. Not too hard, but I'll sweat.

-I am now terrified to look at the scale...eh, I'll wait until maybe next summer. The thought of possibly weighing more than my husband is very scary at the moment.

-I pretty much have nothing to do until finals...except a lot of eating...oh, and going to class.

-Will we have a white Christmas this year?...not getting my hopes up.

-Smoking is such an awful bad habit...why do people want to jeopardize their health in this manner? You spend way too much on cigarettes, you're probably overweight, your breath smells, your clothes stink, and you cough all the time. Gross.

-Some people are so messy. It takes 5 seconds to throw away your trash. Just do it.

-Honestly, writing out your thoughts and getting things off your mind is great therapy...especially on a Monday,

-I put up our Christmas tree yesterday, Bella has already chewed on every branch within her reach and thrown up twice. Seriosuly?

-Last but not least --> to the idiots who drive like IDIOTS: GET OFF THE ROAD and spare a life, will ya?

Too early? Yes. No. Yes...No?

My question for the day...is it too early to put up my Christmas tree? David says yes. I say no. We are having a minor disagreement on this issue. Normally, I would wait until the day after Thanksgiving (or weekend after) or even December 1st, but I just bought a new tree and new ornaments and I really want to decorate. When I was a kid, I remember our Christmas tree going up at or around Thanksgiving and it was usually brought down the day after Christmas. We always had a beautiful tree. My mom had all gold, silver, and white decorations and they looked amazing at night. We used to do a real tree, but when we discovered my allergy to them, we went to a fake one. However, it still looked great. My mom's decorations were rather simple, traditional, and sophisticated...candles in every window, stockings on the fireplace, and the tree. I, on the other hand, have multi-color lights, multi-color ornaments (including pink), and my mom's stockings. I also have lights for the back porch and a wreath for the door. A little color never hurt. I possibly got this from my father, as his Christmas lights went up weeks ago. And when I say Christmas lights, I am talking about the Griswolds being jealous of my dad's lights. He has so many lights on the tree as well that you don't even see the tree. As soon as you walk into the house, Christmas music is blaring (nothing unusual) and the lights are all over the place. A little kid's dream house basically. Whenever friends come over with little kids or babies, the kids are usually occupied the entire time by just the lights. Just starring and admiring the colors.





I know I talked a little about traditions on some other posts, but I am struggling with beginning a tradition of when to put up the Christmas tree. Is it wrong to have the tree up a week and a half before Thanksgiving? Is it just too early? Take into account that we are usually gone the entire Thanksgiving weekend and then are gone again a few days before Christmas. Somewhere in there I have final exams and my mind is totally concentrated on them until they are over. So, technically, it all cancels out right? We still only enjoy the tree for about a month or less. Maybe by the end of today, I will win and the tree will be up...

Little Cousins on Christmas Day 2009

'Tis the season II

Thanksgiving is so close I can taste it. Don't you just love all the holiday food and feasts we get this time of year? I mean, it all starts with Halloween candy and then we proceed to a thanksgiving feast. It all ends with Christmas dinners and lunches and brunches and a New Year's Day feast. I am pretty sure I gain 20 lbs from October 31st to January 2nd every year. This year, I am a hungry preggo and will take all this food and milk it for all it's worth. I can FINALLY eat anything on the menu and not worry about the extra pounds...they will be hidden by a growing, kicking baby. MUAHA. The best holiday season yet. The time to start worrying is after March when the growing baby is now growing outside of me and those extra pounds are way too revealing. I will worry then.

I usually don't partake in the Halloween candy thing; maybe a few Reese's here and there but nothing major. Thanksgiving day always includes at least 2 meals now that I have 2 wonderful families to enjoy it with. And when I say meal, I mean loads and loads of food. While most usually get the big "meal" of the day, I get two. And I eat two. Some of the perks for having big families on my side and my husband's is lots and lots of yummy southern food. When Christmas rolls around, I look forward to the big family gathering at home. This includes cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents from all around. The food is amazing and I eat till I drop. My favorite is the ham and cheese biscuits with the yummy mustard sauce. OH OH and the cocktail sausages with a few trips to the dessert table. Christmas eve usually ends with a frozen pizza since all the stores are closed. Christmas lunch/dinner at my grandparent's house is just as big as her thanksgiving (sub ham for turkey). By Christmas eve, I am so stuffed that all I want to do is crash on the bed and sleep until next Christmas. If we come home, New Year's day lunch has just as much as food as you could ever imagine. If we stay here, I try and cook a little something special for me and the hubs. Not to mention all the office parties we have. Do you see what I mean? The holiday season is SURROUNDED by good food. From now until the New Year, we eat and eat and don't stop eating. I am not complaining, not this year anyways.

I am big on tradition and I want to establish traditions as my family grows. I believe the holidays should involve family and making memories just as much as it involves food. Now that we are expecting, establishing traditions is on the top of my list of things to do. I bought a bigger Christmas tree this year in hopes we can keep it for years to come. The past few years we got away with a mini tree, but now, it's imperative my little girl gets to experience a real Christmas tree big enough to stuff presents under and big enough so the cat can't knock it over 10 million times a day (let's hope she doesn't climb this one). We don't do real trees due to my allergies. I choose not to suffer and just get a fake tree. To match the tree, I have my mom's stockings we used when I grew up. They are memories in their own little way. However, I have a feeling that we will never actually spend Christmas in our own home as long as we live 3 hours away. I would much rather be at "home" with family. But, I can still decorate as much as I would otherwise. Last Christmas, my dad took my sister, David, and I to the mountains for a night. It was the best trip I think I ever took. So simple, but so wonderful. It was cold and snow was still on the slopes. We slept by the fire and danced to Little Texas all night. Those are the kind of memories I plan on making with my children.

I love this season and all the food and fun that goes with. What are some traditions you have with your family? I am all ears!

Wordless Wednesday

I have to admit I am not liking the time change at all. It was great for the weekend, but not so much anymore. Seeing the sun disappear around 5:00 is a little saddening, and seeing the sun through my blinds way to early is just wrong. I don't ever remember the fall time change being such a problem, but it is really bothering me. I can't seem to get adjusted. I am hungry earlier, tired later, and hungry again in the middle of the night. It seems as if this small little time change thing has disrupted me and baby's entire schedule.

Speaking of schedule, I am so excited to be finished with schoolwork until final exams...other than the fact I still have to go to class. This is very good news! And when everyone else is getting up at the crack of dawn on January 10th for a new semester, I will be still sleeping away. That is even better news! However, I will still have schoolwork (on my time). Then, before I know it, baby girl will make her appearance and life will really be OFF schedule. Eh.

On a good note, the weather is finally feeling like fall. Even half of the easten seaboard saw snow this weekend/week. This is when I really wished I lived in the mountains, I bet it is so beautiful. Snow is so calming and peaceful as it is falling. It brings back great childhood memories. I remember one year it snowed so hard and so much that we didn't have power for atleast a week. We lived on the end of a street which was in the very far corner of the city. Our roads were never scraped and our power was the VERY last to be fixed. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were about the only thing we could eat for a whole week. I was craving Mcdonalds so bad, but no one could even get as far as down the driveway in a car. All my friends were out sledding and enjoying being out of school, but I was stuck so far away from the main street the only thing I had to play with was a dog and a baby sister. But, now that I look back, those were the good 'ol days. Spending all day trecking through the woods in the snow and coming back with frozen toes just made the gas fire even better. Funny, but the last snow storm we had in Raleigh last March had me craving Mcdonalds then too. I made David go out in the ice to get me a hamburger. Weird. Let's pray and cross our fingers that we don't get another snowstorm in early March this year...because I do not want to be driving in it while in labor or driving back in it with a newborn. Please.

I'll end this post with a Welcome Fall, Come on Thanksgiving, Hurry up Christmas, and I am ready to see you baby girl!

Mindless Monday

Just a few random things on my mind lately, some hilarious, others not so much:

-Maybe I should buy stock in Chick-fil-a...it's only a matter of time before I get my own parking spot (and soon after my own drive-thru window).

-Try to step out of your own shoes at least once a day and try and see the bigger picture of life. And while your out there, look around, you'll soon realize that you have way more than most.

-Don't waste your life living in the past...the past has a tendency to resurface negativity, and that isn't good for anyone.

-Try to end every conversation with a positive note.

-For the idiots who drive backwards in the parking deck: READ THE ARROWS and don't FLICK me off for your wrongdoing.

-For those teenagers with their phones glued to their fingers: there is so much more in life than texting. (I could elaborate more on this topic, but I'd rather keep my blood pressure down).

-I read today that "it isn't the tryptophan in turkey that puts you to sleep, it is the large amount of food you consume that makes you sleepy." So, your telling me my biochemistry teacher lied? Still trying to figure this one out.

-I saw a commercial that said, "6 months of laundry can be a scary thing." Try 3 days...

-Is it bad that I don't like attending football games anymore so I can avoid all the drunken idiots who forget how to act civilized in public? I'd much rather enjoy the game on my couch.

-Never in my life have I had fingernails or anything remotely close to fingernails...i <3 pregnancy hormones.

-I am looking forward to March, when I don't have to get up to pee 29 times during the night. I'll just be getting up to a screaming infant. Screaming infant > peeing 29 times in 12 hours.

-Can someone please tell me where I can find Diet Sundrop Caffiene Free?

-To the brueggers drive-thru man than works at 8 am-don't call me "lovely lady" that early in the morning after I spent all night negotiating my bladder with my baby and rolled out of bed just in time to leave. I just want my damn bagel and my card back.

-Do men have anything else to do on Sunday/Monday than stare at other men running back and forth fighting over a ball on the television screen....guessing not.


:) Happy Monday!

3D/4D Ultrasound

David and I elected to have a 3D/4D ultrasound done at 23 weeks since the doctor's told us we probably won't have another one unless there is something wrong (God forbid). If you are a new mommy and are seriously considering one, I definitely recommend it. It was the best the decision I have made. The atmosphere was so relaxing and to spend 15 minutes watching your growing baby is just priceless. The technician was great and knew exactly what angles to capture. It wasn't like ultrasounds done in the doctor's office where they are just in a hurry to get the things they need to do done. I have the link posted in youtube...just search "Baby Watson at 23 weeks."

She is an amazing little girl with so much personality. I can't wait for her big debut!

"Forgeetttaaaboutit"

"One emotional rollercoster with a side of tears please (on wheat bread, of course). I would also like to up size that order."

As I was ordering my lunch today at Chick-fil-A, I should of been ordering the above instead of a chicken sandwich on wheat with a side of fries (and this isn't the time to hate on my bad diet). Lately, I have been riding on an emotional rollercoster. I don't want to even mention what made my so mad today, but let's just say David really pissed me off right in the middle of the parking lot. Being the overly dramatic preggo I am, I quickly sped of towards home without looking back or saying goodbye. I like dramatic exits, ok? It isn't just David that makes me turn into this monster...it has been anything and everything....people driving like idiots, seeing people litter, seeing people argue or fight, watching babies being born on TV, hearing a kitten cry, etc. Let me explain the litter and idiot part. I do believe I have used my car horn more in the past 23 weeks than I ever have in my life. Usually, I am a carefree driver that just lets people run all over me. Lately, I can't stand people that tailgate me when I am going over the speed limit already, or try and pass me going 75 mph. I also can't stand people going BACKWARDS on the wrong side in the parking deck. Do they not realize they are messing with the wrong preggo? Not to mention putting an unborn child's life at risk because they are in a hurry. ARG. Makes me so angry. People just don't care these days. This girl today was in such a hurry that as I was turning into the complex, she decided to pass me on the wrong side of the road at 100 mph. REALLY?! She couldn't wait 1 more second for me to turn? I layed on my horn so loud. Showed her. So, the litter part...whenever I see someone littering or throwing trash in places other than the trashcan, I just get all worked up. The funny part is, I have no idea why it makes me so angry and emotional. I am seriously hoping all these emotions are pregnancy related. Maybe I should just stay locked in my bedroom until March 3rd. Eh, I would be really bored.

I guess my motherly instincts have kicked into overdrive and I am already trying to protect my little one from the idiots of the world. There is absolutely no reason why people have to drive like idiots and put other people's life in danger. The funny thing is they usually don't end up at their destination any early than if they would have just drived like a normal person. Did I mention the bus driver that tried to kill me the other week just because she was in a hurry? Well, that is another story for another day.

I wish I could just "forgetttaaaboutit" and not let these things bother me, but it's just one of those things that I can't control. Thinking of investing in one of those baby on board stickers RIGHT NOW so people will realize a child is on board so stop driving like you own the road.

BRRR...

The weather today reminded me of the mornings in undergrad where I walked to class at 8 am and could hardly feel my toes. I would finally get to my destination and I would be so frozen it would take the entire class time to unthaw. Well, I am getting a little carried away; it wasn't that cold this morning. But, my fingers were cold enough to bring back these horrible memories. The brightside is that I won't be doing any of this nonsense this winter because I will be sleeping warmly in my bed until my preggo body is ready to get up. YAY for the highlights of being a preggo. I just hope there won't be a freak snowstorm around March 1st. I don't want my little one's fingers to feel like mine once did while walking to class. Even if it does snow, it won't matter because she'll come when she comes and mommy has a snow outfit ready for her to wear.

In light of this coldness, I am making my famous chilli tonight for dinner. Oh, it is so good. Last winter I froze a few containers of it because I craved it all the time. It isn't as good after being frozen, so I won't be doing that again. The recipe is so simple, so I am ending this blog with my famous recipe to warm you on this cold, fall day! Break out the crockpot!

1 lb of hamburger meat (or any meat will do)
Garlic powder
1 chilli seasoning packet (or use fresh ingredients if you really want homemade)
1 onion
1 container of broth (beef works the best, but chicken broth will do too)
1 5 oz can of tomato paste
1 15 oz can of diced tomatos with green chili
1 15 oz can of tomato sauce
1 table spoon of rice vinegar
*Add any other ingredients you desire, such as beans or other vegetables

Brown the meat over medium heat and sprinkle with garlic powder. Add chopped onion after browning. Simmer on low until onion is cooked to your liking. Add all ingredients to a crockpot and cook on low heat all day, or high heat for a few hours. Add a sprinkle of cayenne pepper right before serving if you really want a kick.

Enjoy with cheese and nachos crumbled over the top. Hey, even add a scoop of sourcream. Yum.

"You gonna kiss me or not..."

I heard a song I really liked on the radio this morning "Are you gonna kiss me or not," by Thompson Square. They remind me of Lady A, and so of course, I loved the song immediately. The song starts out with the couple's first date and the guy wondering if she was going to kiss him because he knew they both really liked each other. As the song progresses, he asks again if she'll kiss him after they say "I do." I remember David and I's first kiss. We started dating on June 11, 2004. After our first date, David had written down the date and my phone number on a post-it and stuck it in his wallet. About a year later, I had found the post-it and was absolutely shocked that he had written the date down because I was curious as to when we had started dating. I knew from that moment on he was "the one." Our first kiss happened a few days after our first date on the front porch of my house on 5th street. Yeah, it wasn't the best kiss in the world and there definitely wasn't "fireworks" but I didn't care because I was so in love. He used to buy me flowers almost everyday with a card stuck on my car door from the night before. It would always make my day 100% better after knowing he was thinking of me before going home that night. After we were dating a few weeks, I don't think he ever went home. We are constantly together and were inseparable. My mother-in-law probably thought he had moved out of town. That was the absolute best summer of my life. I was head over heels in love with this guy and I knew we would be married some day.

Like all relationships, we had our ups and downs. There was a few times were we had mini "breakups" and didn't hardly see each other at all. I think it is imperative that every relationship has a few of these breakups because you end up closer on the other side of them. I can recall one of them that totally changed my life and my love for him. I don't remember exactly what we were fighting over, but David had decided he had enough of me and dating and just wanted his "old life" back. To put it bluntly, he wanted to be the single, care free man he once was. We decided to meet on the soccer fields behind the YMCA late at night and talk. He would not look me in the eye and he would not touch me. I remember feeling like my life literally had ended. I was so empty and blank inside. He told me that was it, and he wasn't coming back. Nothing would change his mind. I sat in my car reading him all his love letters begging him not to let me go...the night ended with me watching in my rearview mirror as he left the parking lot. I can not even describe to you how my body felt at that very moment. I was numb. I couldn't even grib the steering wheel to drive home. I sat there for atleast 2 hours watching the stoplight behind me blink from red, to green, to yellow, and back again. It was almost if the world was still moving and I was stuck behind. Moments like these really show the test we put our relationship through. I kid you not, I spent about a month in solid depression. I cried driving to school, I cried during class breaks, I cried driving home from school, I cried at dinner, and I cried myself to sleep every single night that month. I was stuck in time and there was nothing that would carry me through. Obviously, we got back together at some point, and I never ever wanted to go through that again. That was a major bump behind us that I was not willing to repeat.

On May 30, 2009, I married that same guy I fell in love with 6 years ago. And I haven't stopped falling for him since. To know that he is coming home to me is the absolute best feeling in the entire world. I am so deeply connected to his soul that nothing will ever stop me from loving and caring about him. Every relationship must go through bumps in order to cross the next bridge. We definetly had our share of bumps, but the view from the other side is perfection. He didn't even have to ask me if I would kiss him after our "I do's" because I was ready and waiting. That day was the best day of my life. I would not be complete without David as my life partner, my husband. I would feel as if the world is moving and I am still stuck behind. My world moves because he is in it.

On June 27th, 2010, we found out we were expecting our first child. Can I change my mind and say that was the best day of my life? No, I'll just put it at close second. Because that day would have never happened unless we had gotten married. We, two people in love, have created something so beautiful and so sweet. Our bumps and bruises led to complete perfection, a baby. Granted, my world is moving a little faster than it was 6 years ago, but I would not change a single moment. Two completely different worlds and physical bodies have created one in the same. Our blood, our minds, our souls, our love, and our personalities have combined to create another human being.

I just want to take a few moments and thank my husband for all he has given me. He gave me his heart, and while he may thought he had taken it back a few times, it was just an illusion. His heart is forever mine and always has been. My world is moving because of him and my world is now changing because of him. He puts the laugh in my laughter, the deepness in my soul, the breath in my lungs, the joy in my heart, and the softness in my touch. I love you, David...You gonna kiss me or not?

I've had my moments

Today, I really struggled with trying to think of a worthy blog topic. It's Monday, and my brain is still in Friday mode. This past weekend was Halloween, and today is finally November! I feel like October went by at the speed of light. I am sure I'll be saying the same thing about November on December 1st. I mentioned this before, but the next 4 months is going to go by so fast that I won't be able to stop and take a look around. It'll be Thanksgiving, Christmas, the baby shower, and then a baby before I know it. Whew. I think I need to take a breather just talking about it.

While I am on the topic of life flying by, I thought that would be a great blog to start off the week. Time is infinite, but we still run out of it. A moment literally passes by in a moment, and a lifetime is only filled with so many moments. I often wonder if I am making the most of the moments I have left. Some moments are more important than others, and only those special moments come ever so often. In a moment, our life could be cut short. It is scary to think how fast life goes by. Just the other day I was walking up the steps to my first day of Kindergarten at Jenkins Elementary. I swear, just the other week, I was waiting in line to walk on the football field and accept my highschool diploma. Oh my, it seems just yesterday I was putting on my wedding dress to walk down the isle. In just a few moments, 22 years came and went. I wish some of those moments I would have held on to for just a little longer. Like the moment I was walking down the isle with my dad in hand...I should have walked just a little slower. Or the moment I was waiting for the pregnancy test to finish. I could have waited in that moment just a little longer. I could have hugged a friend a few seconds longer, or kissed my husband one more time. When you sit and think about all those special moments and how fast they seem to go by, you come to realize the importance of treasuring every moment you still have left to fill. The moments we spend yelling or screaming at someone is a moment wasted when you could be telling them how much you love them or how important they are to you. The next moment you have with them could be the last. By all means we shouldn't live our moments thinking about the last one, but rather have a growing respect for the present. I urge you and myself to take each moment with a grain of salt...don't dwell on the past, but rather don't expect on the future. Live in your present and be thankful for the moments of right now. Treasure that last sip of coffee, the good morning kiss, the goodnight hug, the "see you laters", and the last bite of cake. You never know when the next moment will come.

Beauty and the Beast

Now, I already know that this post will sound very atypical of my way of thinking...but, it is the truth.

Have you ever heard of the old wives's tale about when your carrying a girl she "steals your looks?" Let me clarify...ever since about 6 weeks pregnant, I have had HORRIBLE acne spell ups. Almost as if I time traveled back to when I was 15. The acne is not just on my face, I get them on my chest, my back, my shoulders, and my neck. This is not like me at all; I never had acne anywhere! Just the occasional zit. As if the acne wasn't enough, I am starting to get the dreaded "waddle." Not the obvious "waddle" but the "50% waddle." My hair has a bad day almost everyday, and I am growing hair in all the wrong places (at the speed of light). The pregnancy "glow" has not graced its presence yet. In addition to all the above, my back is hurting, I am out of breath, and I have absolutely no balance anymore.

David is running and working out about the same as he always does. He is looking as good as ever. His skin is glowing, his belly is shrinking, his back is healthy, he has perfect balance, and only has hair where men usually have hair. Are you catching my drift here? David is the beauty and I am the beast. I do not mean this in anyway but hilariously, ridiculously comical. I would not trade being pregnant for any of the above because I am totally in love with the idea...but, granted, it would be nice to be the beauty again. If baby girl is "stealing my beauty," then I am expecting the most perfect, most beautiful, most graceful, most talented, and most amazing little girl.

'Tis the season

'Tis the season of stress, work overload, and final exams. I don't look forward to this time of year, but having the holidays around make the extra stress somewhat worth it. This weekend is Halloween, soon after is Thanksgiving, and then less than a month later is Christmas and a baby shower. Mixed in the next 2 months I have 2 tests, 2 final exams, 1 presentation, 1 paper, and 4 weeks of classwork. But, the exciting part is: I don't have to return to campus after Christmas break...instead, I can sleep in as much as I want. Now, that is some news worth sharing! Then, in just 4 months, I will be holding a beautiful baby girl! I have a feeling that these 4 months are going to go by extremely fast, I might need to invest in a "life seatbelt."

As soon as final exams are over in early December, I can just relax and work on continuing to grow this baby. Until then, I must work overtime. I am holding on tightly, because life is starting to fly by.

Just a little update

I had my monthly OB checkup this morning...at 8am...ugh. I was very tired, so I may not remember everything that happened. It was the first time the doctor actually had a belly to measure. I am unsure of the measurement, but he said "everything looks good." I am guessing it was right on target. He then tried to listen to the heartbeat and as soon as he put the cold doppler to my belly, she turned/moved and he had to find it again. I wouldn't want something cold pressing on me either that early in the morning. However, I have noticed a slight trend in her kicking patterns. She seems to be really active when first waking up. This trait is nothing like her mother...I am grouchy and don't want to be talked to or looked at until atleast I have had time for breakfast to digest. Yes, it takes that long. However, her daddy is much different...he can spring out of bed and be cheerful and awake in about 2 seconds. So, I do believe baby girl is taking on daddy's morning cheerfulness. Then again, she is very active right before bed, which makes me think just the opposite. Daddy can lay down and be knocked out in 2 seconds, while it takes me about 20 minutes to fall asleep after I have tossed and turned about 500 times. She has a little bit of both in her I suppose.

David and I have nicknamed her "kickin wing" like chicken wing because the first time I really felt her strong enough to startle me was after I had eaten chicken wings. As for her real name, we have officially decided on a name, but are trying to keep it a secret. I figured since everyone knows the gender, why not have a little fun and keep the name to mommy and daddy until her birthday. Plus, I don't get any "ahh, but I like this other name better" or blank stares. I believe her name was just meant to be...it's like she had that name from the moment she was conceived. It's her. I love it. Fits her personality so well already. Wait, I lied...my mom knows her first name...so NO ONE better go bug her. I don't think she knows the middle name, atleast not officially. I don't know for sure if I will be able to keep her name a secret...we'll see how long it lasts (anyone who knows me knows I have NO patience).

That is all the update I have on baby girl for now...22 weeks down, 18 weeks to go! Wow.

Monday Madness

It's Monday and the day started out way too early with me dropping my deodorant on a little toe. It is 4 hours later and the toe is still numb and purple. I thought my day would get better, but then I was almost killed by a bus on the way back to my car this morning. The bus tried to run me over as I was crossing the crossing walk. Trust me, I emailed transportation right away...I was so mad. Stupid bus drivers...they drive like they own the road. Not to mention i am clearly PREGNANT, so that would of been 2 lives in danger. I hope they fire her because she does not need a license.

Maybe this afternoon will be a little better. I think a nap will do the trick. However, tomorrow will be a VERY early day as I have my OB appointment at 8:00. Which means I will be leaving the house at 7:30 and waking up around 7:00. YUCK. I haven't woke up before 8 in atleast 6 months...so, I know it is going to be hard.

To make light of this disaster of a day so far, I get to make cupcakes for David's office (plus they are orange with halloween sprinkles).

"Bedtime, already?!"

I am just now 21 weeks, and it feels like I could sleep for 3 weeks straight. I don't know why on earth I am so tired all the time. I kept waiting for my 2nd trimester energy boost, but I must have spent all my energy savings out during the 1st trimester. Even though I was sick and vomiting, I still had plenty of energy. Now, I can't stay awake past 7:30 pm.

I went to a consignment sale today near downtown and was in the building for about 30 minutes total. After looking through only one rack of clothes, my arm felt like it was going to fall off, my legs were cramping up, and I could barely keep my eyes open. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got back in the car and took a little cat nap on the way back home. After we got home, I fell asleep on the made up bed for about an hour. I swear my energy has just disappeared. A few weeks ago, I could shop all day without complaints. Maybe my little girl is growing at an alarming rate and is stealing all my energy reserves. That is what I am hoping anyways. If I am this tired at 21 weeks, I can only imagine how tired I will be in the 3rd trimester...blah. Good thing I only have online classes because there is no way I could make it to class every morning.

Well, its 8 pm on a Saturday night and I am headed to bed to watch a movie...told you.

Not looking forward to it...

The other day I had the most bizzare dream. David's brother drove me to the dentist because I was mad at David. I was late for my appointment and they were angry with me because I didn't want x-rays. That was basically the entire dream. Ever since then, I have the dentist on my mind. Kind of like the dream was telling me something. I kept catching myself thinking about the dentist or brushing my teeth. So, in order to get this daydream out of my head, I made an appointment for a cleaning today. Apparently my unconcious is trying to tell me something. UGH...I am not looking forward to it at all!

I didn't have great experiences with dentists, or doctors in general, when I was a child. I avoided the doctors office or hospital with all my might. I hated shots and I hated needles (still do). Which is why I cringe everytime I go to the OB knowing I'll have to get my blood drawn. But, I overcame that fear once I realized it was all for the baby. So, back to my story...I hated doctors as a child. I kid you not, I never lost one tooth on my own. I never experienced the door pulling or the site of blood after crunching into a candy apple. None of it. I had every single one of my teeth pulled in the dentist's chair. Not at one time, though. The dentist told me my teeth were so strong because I drank too much milk. The funny thing is, I hate milk now. My mouth was so screwed up as a child that I went through 10 years of pulling and prying before I got a half decent smile and a large enough mouth. Yes, I even had a metal pole in the roof of my mouth that I turned with a key everyday to spread my jaw out. It wasn't fun at all...and I PRAY that my babies don't have mouths like me or my family. We have tiny mouths that don't fit all our teeth.

After years of braces and metal, I finally had a semi-normal mouth. But, I still hate going to the dentist. They always tell me what a horrible job I do at brushing and flossing. And since I became pregnant, brushing isn't really on my list of things to do anymore. At the beginning, I gagged and vomited everytime I got a toothbrush even near my mouth. I never even attempted to floss. 21 weeks later, I still gag when brushing...so, I know the dentist is not going to be happy with me.

BLAH. It's just one of those things you gotta do.

Pregnancy Bloopers

As I am nearing 21 weeks pregnant, I have caught myself in some hilarious pregnancy moments that I like to call "pregnancy bloopers." Enjoy and feel free to laugh AT me.

The other day, I was doing laundry and had a load already dried in the dryer and a load that had finished washing in the washing machine. I put the dry, clean clothes into the basket and began to put the washed clothes into the dryer. Well, I went to grab some dirty clothes from the bedroom to add to the washing machine, and discovered I was missing the clean load I had gotten out of the dryer. Are you following me? It seems that I had washed the clean clothes again after I got them out of the dryer, thinking they were dirty in the basket. All this was done in a matter of 3 minutes...how in the world did I manage to do this?

I remember a few weeks ago that I needed to run some errands, so I started out toward target with my list of things to get (most of them very important). As I was driving down the road, a sudden craving hit for Chick-fil-a, and in my preggo mind, that was the reason I was going out. I ended up in the Chick-fil-a drivethru forgetting why exactly I went out in the first place. 15 minutes later I was back home trying to remember where I needed to go (with my list still in my purse).


I have caught myself several times talking to myself out in public, or talking to the baby. I was in the grocery store and had one of these pregnancy moments. I was trying to decide which can of pizza sauce to get unknowingly with one of the stockers behind me waiting for me to move out of the away so he could stock the shelf. I went back and forth, sometimes talking to myself and sometimes asking the baby which one she would prefer. I can only imagine what his face was like when he heard me talking. Embarrassing!

Everyone knows a pregnant women can have gas anytime, anywhere, and without much warning. Let's just say this moment was VERY embarassing and continues to haunt me. I was taking the dogs out one afternoon, and of course, let one out. I didn't think it would be loud besides, no one was outside. But, boy, was I wrong. The neighbor was walking behind me at the time...

A little nesting humor...About once a week, I take all the clothes hanging in baby's closet and folded on the shelf wash them and hang them all up again. Why? Don't ask!

Now that you have had your daily dose of humor, I will end with saying that pregnancy can be extremely humerous, obviously. Stay tuned for more pregnancy bloopers!

Wordless Wednesday

The Blueberry Girl

I just recently discovered the best way to describe how I have been feeling this past week...like the girl on Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory who turns into a big, blue blueberry and rolls away (except leave out the turning blue part). Every time I take a bite of food, I feel like it has nowhere to go. And every day, I feel my belly getting larger and larger...just as if I was turning into a blueberry and getting ready to roll away. This is actually quite comical if you think about it...except, it is a little uncomfortable for me. Is it normal to be feeling this way at 20 weeks? I honestly feel like my stomach is expanding as much in a day as it has in the past 19 weeks. To tell you the truth, I was starting to wonder when this day would actually come...the day where I just feel so plump and round. It's here!

In addition to my expanding blueberry stomach, I am starting to get a little out of breath when walking long distances or up hill. It feels like every organ in my body has been knocked out of place and is desperately screaming "HELP!" Welcome to being preggo, Amber. It only gets larger from here, and by the 8th month, I am sure I might just roll away.

State Fair Re-cap

Oh wow...it was a great day to go to the state fair along with everyone else in the state. The crowd was minimal at the beginning, but then later in the day, it got really CROWDED. I don't mean "busy," I mean flat out "you can't move your finger without hitting someone else." There was so many people today it was almost hard to breathe.

David and I made our usual rounds to the livestock buildings and then to the ag building with all the free samples. Well, what I thought was the building with all the free samples. I was disappointed at the lack of vendors this year. Either we missed something, or there wasn't as many as there usually are.

Did I mention I had to use the bathroom every 10 minutes? And did I also mention there was a 15 minute wait at each restroom...yeah. I would have had a much more enjoyable time if I wasn't preggo and needed to pee every second. I also needed to take many breaks because my bump is getting rather large. It puts me out of breath to walk that much.

No, I did not try the krispy kreme hamburger or the deep friend pumpkin pie. However, I did have amazing BBQ at the Pork Chop Shop. Oh, and of course free hush puppies at the mill! And, I didn't leave the fair gates without my candy apple in hand. I felt rather guilty about that candy apple, but all guilt seemed to fade away while I was consuming it. Baby didn't seem to mind.

I think today's fair escapade was a success; other than the fact it took 45 minutes to park and me having to pee so much. I must say I am very excited to bring our little girl to next year's fair...and maybe next year we won't decide to go on the seemingly busiest day in state fair history.